| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
the nature of our stillborn (Free verse) by Crakyamuni I shudder now at the sounds of the possibilities that
live to surround and ultimately limit me
Temporality versus periphery, or simply just the enemy
My intentions were never to love or be clever
in the face of such an instance
it was love that was happily severed
Don't smile and laugh, it's distance
I loved you so much I could never, I can never fucking admit this
these crimes and stabbings so poingant, we could hold them and call it
resistance
Up the ladder:
Moon (edit)
Down the ladder:
A Boy Without Rain
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Posted: June 23, 2003 10:04 AM PDT; Last modified: January 3, 2005 4:32 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.9525743 Overall Rank: 8743 Comments:
[n/a]
SupremeDreamer @ 66.81.159.207
|
23-Jun-03/10:12 AM
|
Reply
simple, to the point.. could use more imagination.. ill save my vote in the hope that this sees an expansion and a rewrite
Because it's not, it's a virus called SCARS
Well. Very nice, except I could do without the refrain - and this line:
"Don't smile and laugh, it's distance" - comes off as a concession to rhyme. btw, as to the content (versus the form) - the message is that you were almost certainly trying to both love *and* be clever. At least to be clever. I want to give this a nine, but that list bit keeps me from it. 228 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
