Shuushin4 Jan 2005

Well. Very nice, except I could do without the refrain - and this line:

"Don't smile and laugh, it's distance" - comes off as a concession to rhyme.

btw, as to the content (versus the form) - the message is that you were almost certainly trying to both love *and* be clever. At least to be clever.

I want to give this a nine, but that list bit keeps me from it.