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Moon (edit) (Haiku) by Caducus Earth's stone faced widow
stares through dark cumulus veils
tides eye leaves jewels.
Up the ladder:
insomnia
Down the ladder:
the nature of our stillborn
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Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Posted: April 17, 2003 2:38 AM PDT; Last modified: May 5, 2006 1:27 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.9525743 Overall Rank: 8747 Comments:
[8]
Ranger @ 62.252.32.15
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4-May-06/8:27 AM
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Reply
Last line I think should be "tide's cataract leaves", however I'm wondering if there's a bit of extra wordplay going on there. Are you using 'cataract' in the 'downpour' sense there as well? Because it sort of feels like you are - particularly with the widow imagery, a woman crying at night maybe?
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