Re: DID YOU EVER? by emrldeyz79	14-Jan-03/8:56 AM
Too mawkish in content. A bit of subtlety would help. It currently reads like a Hallmark card and the message offers nothing new. Sorry but this just doesn't work for me.
Re: A Man Of The World by vulcan	14-Jan-03/9:03 AM
Hmmm, interesting poem. I am honestly at a loss as to your exact meaning and would like to hear from you before rating it. I have an idea as to intent but still not sure. I am intriged by the mood and voice of this piece. Regards....and did you receive my e-mail reply?
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Jan-03/9:13 AM
Not a pretty picture you paint but I liked this. A bit of redundancy and you might consider deleting the following: Line 5..."back" line 8..."all" Line 9..."just" Line 16..."of you" Minor stuff but, IMO, it would read better with the above deletions. I enjoyed the read.
Re: My Mamma's Hands by amateurR	14-Jan-03/9:16 AM
Very descriptive and excellent imagery. Loved the second stanza. This rates a high mark.
Re: Please President Bush, Save Me From My Adolescence by mogwai	14-Jan-03/9:18 AM
Your sarcasm is great. Right on the mark with this one.
Re: A little song by kawakurdi	19-Jan-03/6:56 AM
Not bad. Short and sweet. Typo in last line. For ever should be forever.
Re: lost dreams by dylansong	19-Jan-03/7:19 AM
I liked this but it needs editing. Too much redundancy and needless fill words. One example: "Night turning today, day to turning to night....The day dreams turning into nightmares....The cycle of madness never ending....Every day starting over and over.... Perhaps this would work better: "Night turning to day; day to night....Day dreams becoming nightmares....The cycle of madness never ending....Each day like the one before...." If tightened a bit, the makings of an excellent poem.
Re: Nightshades by Bachus	19-Jan-03/7:30 AM
Bravo, sir!! A difficult form to master but you have done so in this gem. Personally, I don't even attempt to write vilanelles. Much too stuctured and very hard to write without sounding forced. A ten.
Re: Nightshades by Bachus	19-Jan-03/7:36 AM
Forgot to ask...Just what brand of aquavitae are you referring to? I might try some if it isn't over 100 proof. Hell, I'll try some regardless. The stronger the better.
Re: Trespasser at the Men's Bathing Pond by Christof	21-Jan-03/9:28 AM
I like this. Very original and good rhythm. The form is different, using 6 lines per stanza and a couplet rhyme scheme. Interesting piece and deserves a high number.
Re: A Gift of Beauty... by loneshadow29	21-Jan-03/9:34 AM
A bit too mawkish for my taste but I am sure some will like it. Also, too many cliches like: your radiant beauty.... melt with only your smile.... dark sea of turmoil.... gaze upon your beauty.... etc...etc.
Re: Fall by morffrom	21-Jan-03/9:36 AM
Short and sweet but it doesn't do much for me personally. Still, not bad and with an interesting theme.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Jan-03/9:42 AM
Closer to prose than poetry but that is fine in free verse. It progresses nicely and I liked the tone and rhythm which is quite irregular but reads well. I especially liked the ending.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Jan-03/8:03 AM
What is the "it?" It can be anything the heart desires or that which we are most afraid of..or unsure of or..the answer we seek but know we will never find but strive for..simply because there's not a hell of a lot of options. I liked the mood of this and the last stanza is perfect. Different and a poem to ponder.
Re: No more tears, or trail by Bachus	24-Jan-03/8:14 AM
Yes, Manifest Destiny. Its all ours because we say so. Slaughter the Indians and fight the Spanish and it's all OK because we say so. And I fear Bush has the same thoughts, just the country has changed. A solid 9 for causing me to think. It's all OK because we say so.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Jan-03/8:27 AM
This is great. How could it be rated a 5? Very zen like in the telling and I loved the ending. I didn't know Maya had a mom but the comparison is right on. I really must atone for scribbling on the new wallpaper in the kitchen...with a black crayon! Sorry, mom. A nine.
Re: mornings, january by <~>	24-Jan-03/8:34 AM
Seems kind of mundane for a haiku but perhaps I am missing something. Still, not bad and better than a four. Hell, thinking about it, everything is mundane to a greater or lesser degree.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jan-03/1:46 PM
Geeez! If you would have squeezed the damn lemon juice on the scampi, you coulda been somebody.
Re: Small Town Tavern by NinjaPoet	30-Jan-03/5:31 PM
Sounds like a dangerous dude. Those mushrooms jusr don't mix with boose. He shoulda read the warning label. A solid 8.
Re: Small Town Tavern by NinjaPoet	30-Jan-03/6:40 PM
Right on! And don't forget "the attached disclosure."