DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

A Gift of Beauty...

Member since 2002 · Posted 19 Sep 2002 · 7 comments

Lying here, late at night Thinking of all I've seen places of long ago Lush green fields, the white sands Sunrises and sunsets But nothing that can compare To your radiant beauty I envy the wind that runs through your hair That touches your gentle lips Oh my enchantress How can it be so That my heart, cold and hardened By the harsh winter snow You can melt with only your smile Your voice, like a siren's song Lifting my dark and lowly soul to the heavens above Oh how I long to touch you To hold you in my arms But a dark force holds me from you Only able to love you from afar But hope gets me through the day And especially the night That maybe one day, I can gaze upon your beauty To hold you in my arms To touch your lips with mine And that it would not be the last time So hope guides me on through the dark sea of turmoil hoping to find my port of call praying that it might be with you

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 5.77 weighted 5.56 rank 2439 views 173 View voting details →

13 votes so far. Yours would make 14.13 votes so far

7 comments

[10] Katie 24-Sep-02/4:24 AM Reply

*snif*snif, that's so pretty!! It's a 10 all the way

[10] vulcan 5-Oct-02/10:26 AM Reply

I really liked it!very tender and heart-piercing!BUT what on earth means that HORRIBLE homepage?if you really feel your poems you'd better do away with that page!That was not Sorrow nor despair and not even nothingness!I felt really disapointed!I hope you change your mental picture!Horror!

[n/a] loneshadow29 › vulcan 7-Oct-02/11:38 AM Reply

thanks for the comment... yeah, to be honest, I haven't looked at that page in such a long time... I don't even know why I put the address in my profile... things have changed a lot since its creation, or should I say, current state... I think I'll kill it... kiiiilll... uhh... sorry just kidding :o)

[10] vulcan › loneshadow29 7-Oct-02/11:56 AM Reply

Thanks!happy you don't think so anymore!

[6] <~> 5-Oct-02/4:46 PM Reply

hey loneshadow--this has promise. i suggest making the language more languid. it reads stacato, and if you are longing for her, i'd think the words would be more sultry, more mellifluous, more dreamy. good effort, though. z

[7] Mutant_X 4-Nov-02/7:49 AM Reply

very sensitive

[5] Quarton 21-Jan-03/9:34 AM Reply

A bit too mawkish for my taste but I am sure some will like it. Also, too many cliches like:

your radiant beauty....
melt with only your smile....
dark sea of turmoil....
gaze upon your beauty....
etc...etc.