Re: a comment on Her Mitts by Nepanthe	13-Mar-07/1:46 PM
Actually, I don't quite know what I was talking about. You can solve it just by saying 'mitts of her own'.
Re: a comment on Pedaling West by Dovina	13-Mar-07/1:44 PM
Even so, if you're cycling then you're going to be using a repetitive motion - the pedalling - and I really think the poem would be more effective if you brought that through. The metric structure should do the same job as the chain and gears of your bike - it doesn't have that impact on me at present. 120 days? That's insane, I hope you're getting paid for it (or at the least, getting free chiropodist service afterwards.) Bet you don't see a kingfisher.
Re: a comment on Pedaling West by Dovina	13-Mar-07/1:29 PM
It feels like you're trying for something light and kind of cutesy - I think it needs the meter to skip quickly rather than just trundle along. That's the fun of cycling; blitzing it along a canal towpath chasing kingfishers, not just moseying from one pub to the next.
Re: Her Mitts by Nepanthe	13-Mar-07/1:22 PM
'My mitts are hermits' is great, if only it wasn't for the final line...this would be ace. Word inversion works sometimes but when the rest of the poeme is in a straightforward structure it's like a punch in the colon.
Re: Pedaling West by Dovina	13-Mar-07/1:19 PM
This is more like a diary entry in verses. I don't think there's anything wrong with that per se, but it needs to be delivered in either an interesting or easyflowing manner - I hate to say this but rhymes would do the trick here. It feels like you've gone for straight iambic meter but I think it needs more than that. Either that or some truly staggering imagery throughout.
Re: The Landscape by Sasha	13-Mar-07/1:13 PM
I assume the translation is as good as it reads. The poeme's 50-50 on the ace/turd spectrum though.
Re: a comment on Within by drnick	13-Mar-07/1:12 PM
Ranger is still here, lurking a la ecargo. I never got that email - hotmail's been a bit temperamental recently though :-(
Re: Within by drnick	13-Mar-07/1:10 PM
This is brilliant, just brilliant
Re: Ben Fogle by Stephen Robins	11-Mar-07/2:34 PM
I do hope you've been watching Crufts. He was particularly splendidly attired today.
Re: Hallelujah by hungry_shepherd	10-Mar-07/9:31 AM
You must know, surely, that any appreciator of Cohen (or, more likely, Buckley) will not be able to bring themself to accept this.
Re: Rock and Roll by wilco	8-Mar-07/2:19 AM
I'd like to hear this one, as I can't tell whether the rhyme of 'fury' and 'money' (and 'Mississippi') will be distracting or not.
Re: A Wanderlust To The New by fevriere	8-Mar-07/2:16 AM
Aside from 'smally dance' this is so good. I don't know why people haven't read you more on here.
Re: Dancing for dinner by fevriere	8-Mar-07/2:04 AM
Top drawer stuff.
Re: Mirror by Quarton	8-Mar-07/1:51 AM
I like the gentleness of this piece, if you could scratch out a couple of the cliched phrases and put a little more innovation into some lines (such as the last one) I'd enjoy this even more.
Re: A whole load of cunts by mr cunt	8-Mar-07/1:43 AM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You are hilarious! Those were ip addresses from my college system. -10- for making me cry with laughter.
Re: Quantum Reality by Quarton	8-Mar-07/1:36 AM
Interesting read - in a few places it sounds more science textbook-y than poetic ('ever increasing complexity' etc.) I liked stanza 5 and its cosmic dance - perhaps a reference to Holst's Planets Suite would have been appropriate there? It's certainly a piece with some education behind it - I like that, but my failing is a short attention span. Maybe cutting it into two or three sections would make it easier for simpletons like myself to read in one sitting? Good poem though.
Re: a comment on Quantum Reality by Quarton	8-Mar-07/1:28 AM
I'm reading Slaughterhouse Five at the moment, it has a lot to live up to as I thought The Sirens of Titan was awesome. Have you heard Al Stewart's song about the book? As for the deleted posts, you must be clicking on the red 'X' rather than the 'reply' button. We really should get nentwined to move that button somewhere less offensive...
Re: A Single Strand of Golden Yellow by Aetius	3-Mar-07/8:29 AM
This is the level of mediocrity to which the majority of us aspire.
Re: a comment on The Medium of Dunce by Ranger	23-Feb-07/6:37 AM
That's true. Indeed, I may have misheard her drunken mumblings; she might have actually said 'Thank you' in beggar dialect as I accidentally dropped a shiny penny on the pavement in front of her. I could not bring myself to attempt to retrieve it from the bow'ls of hell, so let it be. That being said, I might remind you that no fortune can ever buy enough wipes for that mammoth task. For the rule of bum is that the severity of soiling is always directly inversely proportional to the number and strength of available wipes. So, by that logic, if a beggar were to come into the modest sum of, say, twelve pounds (sterling) and fifty pence, it would do him no good whatsoever - for at that precise moment in time the local Stainsbury's would sell out of scented bathroom tow'lettes*. *ecargo was wrong - "tow'lette" is a far better word than "bow'ls".
Re: a comment on The Medium of Dunce by Ranger	22-Feb-07/12:56 AM
You did? It never came through -- maybe Microsoft really have reported us to the FBI. You cannot imagine how much I'd love that ;-)