Re: a comment on Freud Spoke Of A Mother's Tongue, But I Interpret Dreams by Ranger	12-Aug-06/1:05 AM
Thank you :-)
Re: a comment on Suicide Dream by Ranger	12-Aug-06/1:05 AM
Rules? Where did I ever talk about rules? No literature follows absolute rules, otherwise how would Carrol, Lear, Joyce etc. have survived? I took great care to use 'guidelines' instead. Once again, in your determination to abuse me, you've failed to read what I wrote. The whole idea of poetry is that it's subject to various features which distinguish it from ordinary prose. Hence the existence of all the poetic devices (alliteration, assonance, onomatopoeia etc.) With the exception of some crude rhyme and rhythm, I don't remember seeing a single example of these devices in your friend's poem. What's more idiotic: careful, skilled manipulation of language or the slapping down of a bunch of basic emotive words? Now let's return to your original complaint, namely that I dared to criticise a published poet. As I've already said - and you appear to have ignored entirely - I did so to get discussion going with someone who I could potentially learn a few tricks from - and also because it was not a very effective or interesting poem. Before you explode with indignation at my rudeness, let me suggest something to you: 1) - she claimed to be a published poet, and as I'm a generous soul I assumed that meant 'published by a credible source'. 2) - some of her poems must be good enough for publication. 3 - the poem she posted was not good enough for publication (if it was, why was it on a public site?) 4) - therefore, the poem she posted was one of her weaker efforts, and she would be humble enough to acknowledge that she could do far better. 5) - as such, I wouldn't have received such a mountain of shit from her accomplices; instead I'd have learned something poetically useful. Seems I was wrong.
Re: a comment on Suicide Dream by Ranger	12-Aug-06/12:40 AM
No, just entertaining.
Re: a comment on Suicide Dream by Ranger	12-Aug-06/12:39 AM
Hee, you remind me so much of what I was like at 15. Which would explain why your barrage didn't surprise me at all.
Re: a comment on Suicide Dream by Ranger	12-Aug-06/12:32 AM
And herein lies the problem; when I was twelve I traded my heart for a pack of trading cards, a sherbet dip and a gilt-edged turbo-charged wheelchair. All my friends had skateboards, but since the accident happened I was unable to use one - so I put the wheels on sideways and tried to impersonate a crab. After that all my poetry came from my bowels.
Re: a comment on Nights in the city of Godiva by Mr Pig	5-Aug-06/10:20 PM
Not going to Eisteddfod this year (it started yesterday I think), but I'm back in England for the summer. I have it on the highest authority that far from merely being a festival of poets and artists, it's actually a celebration of hedonism and drunken revelry to surpass anything we English could manage. It certainly outdoes my village's local fire show, which is also this weekend - and which I'm also going to miss. I guess there's a moral in there somewhere, but I'm damned if I can work out what it is.
Re: a comment on Nights in the city of Godiva by Mr Pig	5-Aug-06/10:13 PM
It's been scientifically proven that to neglect one's bow'ls for too long has dire consequences. So really, even if I had remained inactive they would have returned, bidden or not.
Re: a comment on The Clock and the Storm by cleverdevice	3-Aug-06/1:49 PM
I see no faults with the spelling (except for 'recognising', last stanza), on a brief glance over. The grammar in this is similar to how I use it in poetry - I like it, a lot of people disagree with me.
Re: a comment on Nights in the city of Godiva by Mr Pig	3-Aug-06/1:46 PM
Blackpool's never really had that sort of appeal. You want to try the summer solstice at Stonehenge ;-)
Re: Nights in the city of Godiva by Mr Pig	3-Aug-06/1:44 PM
When on earth was the last time that Villa played Coventry in any meaningful competition?
Re: A Night out With Chaucer by cleverdevice	3-Aug-06/1:42 PM
Where the devil have you been all my life? -bow'ls-
Re: a comment on I wish I was a chav by Stephen Robins	3-Aug-06/1:41 PM
Unless you're of a certain 'alternative' mindset, hanging out of the back of 14 year-old chav girls only has a limited appeal. Pillars of society, however, find themselves with wide vistas of opportunities to meet higher-class girls. Besides, if you become a chav, you then limit yourself to White Lightning. No opportunities for Pimm's and lemonade. If nothing else sways you, that will* On a completely unrelated note, I demand that you resurrect the Celebrity Scoring method. If this isn't quite worthy of an Ainslee, I'd still rate it as Dave Benson-Phillips. *no pun intended.
Re: Paradise by oneglove	3-Aug-06/1:34 PM
I'm not quite sure what I feel about this poem. It's not a bad poem, but it feels...empty, somehow. I think it's due to a lack of scenery (I crave the images) and a bit of triteness (eyes, broken road etc.) Even so, I'd say that with a certain amount of building upon, this will be a perfectly decent poem.
Re: glittery red with rockets ripping through by FreeFormFixation	3-Aug-06/12:54 AM
First 3 stanzas are excellent.
Re: I wish I was a chav by Stephen Robins	3-Aug-06/12:52 AM
This is quite possibly the best thing you've written. Stanza 5 made me fall off my chair laughing. Maybe 'tracksuit' would be more accurate as 'shellsuit'? You know, a lack of McDonald's nearby means that the gathering place for chavvage is the bench outside 7-11, or, latterly, the bike racks outside Tesco. A most shining nine -bow'ls-
Re: Jay by MacFrantic	1-Aug-06/12:47 AM
Is the jay a small aerial drone, and the swarm the bombers which follow its lead? It could almost be about a queen bee as well, except in the poem it's 'he' and 'silent'. If I'm wrong, don't give me the answer. I'll come back this evening and work it out.
Re: fragment by ecargo	1-Aug-06/12:41 AM
If 'blare' is meant as a pun, then I feel I must protest in the strongest possible way. Having been subject to his rule, I can safely say that his chatter is never empty. It is crammed to the rafters with bullshit. Oh, and good poem ;-)
Re: Hot by Dovina	1-Aug-06/12:35 AM
Grand, some excellent lines ('a watched sun never sets'). 'Loosens' was a bit cumbersome for my reading. No other problems. Is 'fifties' meant as double for the 1950's (sans pollution) and for 50 degrees (it'd have to be centigrade though, unless you meant it as a 50 degree angle to refer back to the sun...)?
Re: a comment on The Lonesome Loser by Dovina	1-Aug-06/12:23 AM
That would explain the discomfort in my bow'ls. Phew, that's a clarifier all right - up till now I'd put it down to laughing too hard.
Re: a comment on Suicide Dream by Ranger	1-Aug-06/12:20 AM
Bravo, sir, bravo! I bow down before your mastery of ironic resubmitting of my own comment. How could I have ever been so naive as to believe this may be a decent poem? How could I have ever been so arrogantly callous as to attempt critiquing a poet who has achieved the lofty heights of publication? Clearly such a being is beyond my mortal comprehension. But wait... If you had actually read this piece, you would have seen that I have followed every single guideline set down in that comment. You would have also read the comment in its original context and noted with abject disbelief that I had spent a considerable amount of time constructing a considerate, honest and polite critique. I wouldn't usually bother giving that much time (which I don't have right now) to a newcomer posting poetry like that, but I hoped that it would spark some discussion from a published poet who absoutely *must* have received a few critiques in their time, and I could therefore learn from. Instead...I got slathered in what closely resembles the brownly pumpings of a rusted snatchwagon. Your inability to read comments leaves me less-than-full of hope for your ability to read poetry. The mere fact that I didn't jizz myself over your friend's attempts at poetry is no reason to insult me. I was thoughtful, honest and polite to her; if you aren't going to return the gesture then kindly leave me alone -bow'ls-