Re: Her Mitts by Nepanthe	13-Mar-07/1:22 PM
'My mitts are hermits' is great, if only it wasn't for the final line...this would be ace. Word inversion works sometimes but when the rest of the poeme is in a straightforward structure it's like a punch in the colon.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Mar-07/1:25 PM
Cut this down into simple iambic pentameter. That way you'll be able to tidy it easily. It's not an original idea within this, but then, who said poetry has to always be novel?
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Mar-07/1:32 PM
Kipling does single mother moral poetry? Tighten up the metrics and this will be perfectly readable, I'd say.
Re: snacktime by jesslew	13-Mar-07/1:48 PM
Cute, richa's right about the last line though. Pick something less bland to say.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Mar-07/1:53 PM
Best thing I've read on here in ages.
Re: Her Mitts by Nepanthe	13-Mar-07/1:59 PM
May I make another suggestion? Keep the internal rhymes going throughout, they work well in the first stanza. And be prepared for people to read 'My hands brave the Winter's groin'.
Re: Pearl by Greeny	13-Mar-07/2:37 PM
I liked most of this except for stanza 4
Re: Jess and Andrea during english class by jesslew	15-Mar-07/3:06 AM
Change the first line of stanza 12 to "Ne'er leave me, Jesu"
Re: A Lesson by nypoet22	21-Mar-07/5:46 AM
Sir, I am glad to see that you are able and well; we never did finish that renga.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Mar-07/5:48 AM
I'd much prefer it if the final line was "snared by a bear trap", but I guess it works as it is.
Re: Untitled by Dovina	21-Mar-07/5:49 AM
This is a terrible haiku about an 'untitled'.
regarding some deleted poem...	21-Mar-07/5:51 AM
You call that a sonnet? This is a sonnet: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=64600
Re: Her Mitts by Nepanthe	21-Mar-07/5:53 AM
By the way, I couldn't get the link to your music to work.
Re: The Small Ones by Dovina	22-Mar-07/1:33 PM
I liked the idea of the evolutionary equivalent of spiked hair and tongue studs, and the two lines about barnacles and termite queens are good. The rest sort of lost me. I am not in a very perceptive mood tonight though, so you shall have to forgive me.
Re: Oliver by Stephen Robins	22-Mar-07/1:35 PM
This is a work of sheer beauty, I intend to print it out and plaster it above my bed so that every morning I am reminded of the wond'rousness of life.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Mar-07/1:42 PM
Good poeme.
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Mar-07/12:47 PM
This is good. I might say that there is a possible alternative to missing out the article - Imp once told me that 'tree' is also the archaic name for a cross (like the one from the Passion). You could change that line to 'Men nailed to trees bleeding out', which would also bring in the two thieves on either side. That being said, it's such an obscure phrase that people might not get it. Either way, I still think this is perfectly acceptable.
Re: Guarded Fool by drnick	25-Mar-07/12:53 PM
Like it. Reminds me of a passage from Slaughterhouse 5 - "How nice - to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive".
Re: A twisted Trail in Eden’s Garden by Dovina	25-Mar-07/12:57 PM
I thought the title said 'A twisted Trail in Edna's Garden'. How terrifying would that be? As for the poeme itself, it's well written. If I were to be picky (and I am) then my only suggestion might be to change 'before' to something that doesn't start on a soft stress. It's not a particularly important crit though.
Re: Llamas by Skamper	25-Mar-07/1:02 PM
Enjoyable. I'm not certain that the title has any more bearing than association with some of the images, but it's probably worth more thought than I can give right now. 'Slide your new tongue between the cracks' made me think of weeds growing through paving slabs - but I'm not sure if you want that ambiguity (i.e. the contrast with 'a polished way to speak'). I think it works wonderfully though, and I do intend to think more about this later. One instant suggestion - you might want to get rid of 'the' from line 2; it could be a personal preference but I prefer as few definite articles as possible in a short space. Good poem.