Re: Cane by richa	27-Mar-07/2:21 AM
Ace, I don't get it but it's clearly not bow'ls.
Re: Death Beseech You by polaroidmemory	27-Mar-07/2:22 AM
I never understand why people must always write about death and hate as though they are the worst things on this planet. What about indigestion, dammit? No-one ever thinks of the indigestion!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Re: You can't send love to a voicemail. by drnick	7-Apr-07/6:18 AM
This is good. Your next challenge is to write a sequel including the words 'bunnies', 'sunshine' and 'April'. I know you can.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Apr-07/6:20 AM
Good haiku, especially the first image - paper and words as crumbling bone works extremely well. You should make a habit of devoting haiku to poemeranker users, they've been excellent fun so far ;)
Re: you've returned i'm glad by richa	7-Apr-07/6:22 AM
"because I am free they have won and so I"...? Am I being a dunce here? Other than that, ace.
Re: Tribeca by Dovina	7-Apr-07/6:26 AM
'a consequence of bipeds...' is the best part of this poeme. Do you want the grammar nazi? He's here anyway: line 14 wants an apostrophe in "let's". I'm feeling pedantic today. I won't apologise, and besides, I have to return to my revision :(
Re: View From The Gutter by Skamper	7-Apr-07/6:28 AM
The cracks and crisscrossing and other initial images made me think you were actually going to describe the tarmac of the street as a metaphor for all this. As it is, it's alright but has been done a lot before.
Re: OneLongDay by Iain	9-Apr-07/2:23 AM
The rhyme of 'pain' with 'Sylvain' forces me to assume that you mean the Arctic trip guaranteed very little French-made bread. This is a terrible situation to be in at any time of the month and I send my most heartfelt sympathies to all such sufferers.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Apr-07/6:15 AM
The single best poeme posted to-day! -=Delightfully_Topical=-
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Apr-07/1:46 AM
lol! There is no way in the seven hells that I can give this anything less than a ten
Re: Sensually Literary Villanelle by bwaha	16-Apr-07/1:49 AM
Still good, what was changed? You might want to trim a few commas - and richa's got a point about the 'tears shed' line. If you were to enjamb that line it would help the stanza flow a bit more as well.
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Apr-07/2:03 AM
This is the best thing you have posted recently.
Re: Benevolent Oasis by drnick	26-Apr-07/9:28 AM
If Dali had rhymed more often, he'd have done something like this.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Apr-07/9:29 AM
Please please please tell me the fourth stanza isn't about Fraser.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Apr-07/9:30 AM
This is ace.
Re: What it Feels Like by laurahenn2010	26-Apr-07/9:40 AM
If you're just starting out on the poetic road, this probably doesn't deserve the kicking it's got. It's true that it's full of cliche and vague sensation, but you have to start somewhere. Find a poet you enjoy reading and try to work out what tricks they use. Imagery, metaphor, meter etc. etc. etc. are all things to practise as you go - especially look for strong images and novel way of describing them. Rhyming dictionaries are also good resources; the best rhymer on here (zodiac) always claimed to use them. Keep at it, listen to the criticism and ignore the insults. You'll be fine.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Apr-07/9:41 AM
Bitching, biting.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Apr-07/2:02 PM
Nice turn at the end, a charming little ode to the cat. I see a certain stealth-of-movement within the meter which creeps rather cat-like, although I think you could play around with it a little more.
Re: new clothes, same old story by nypoet22	29-Apr-07/2:05 PM
Interesting that you don't punctuate the last line. It suggests that he's ugly (when) naked. If so, what is he the rest of the time? Beautiful? Or just hidden? Nice and concise.
Re: Hatred and Perfection by laurahenn2010	29-Apr-07/2:23 PM
Pick an image. Any image, it doesn't have to be spectacularly original at this point. Perhaps the key would be a good one to use. Try to write something which just revolves around the key; be consistent (a lot of this poem is fragmented and unconnected except through the loose and quite vague emotions). Use either the key or door (or anything associated with whichever tactile object you pick) to represent you, and find similarities. What that should do, with a bit of practise, is help make the feelings that you put in come across with a bit more subtlety. In turn, that'll make the reader more likely to emphasise. If you say "I hurt", well I might nod sympathetically - but beyond that I can't connect with it; I can't relate to it (to use an old cliche). The best way to find out what works for you in poetry is to read plenty of it - find a genre you're likely to enjoy and have a go. Perhaps Sylvia Plath would be a good starting point from the evidence of this poem, or Poe if you want something more elaborate and gothic. Anyway, so sayeth -=Ranger=-. Hope it's of help.