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snacktime (Free verse) by jesslew little ray of sunshine
oh how i love snacktime
everyone needs potassium
bananas are edible smiles
they last with you for miles
Up the ladder:
my memories
Down the ladder:
Phonecall from zombies on Uranus
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.5
Posted: March 13, 2007 11:02 AM PDT; Last modified: March 13, 2007 11:02 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.9403987 Overall Rank: 9101 Comments:
[7]
richa @ 81.179.219.225
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13-Mar-07/12:11 PM
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Reply
Don't like the last line. Like the whimsy of 'bananas are edible smiles' and the idiosyncrasy of 'everyone needs potassium.
Cute, richa's right about the last line though. Pick something less bland to say.
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