The ending goes off on a insiduous tangent but because of that it works well and contrasts the 2 moods well. I just hope this is fiction. Why also did he lose his mind I wonder.
Neatly done

A+

Because...
Chewbacca needs Han Solo
to translate.

I fucking love those lines. This is wicked, a great piece of satire and a real turkish thumb to your enemies.
Look what i did to your best poems - 10

Sounds like a dream I have after drinking cheap vodka. I loved it but then all your stuffs the biz.

One other thing : Kaliber ! now we're talking shite

Evil, but a blast 8

get rid of new plight, plight will suffice. Cut the digression of the obvious lines and your getting there

A suggestion if i may re: line 2 (soft feathers of wings) the 'of wings' part is not really needed as we would associate that they come from wings, also the 'above' we know angels come from above (and below depending on the orgin of the angel). Its not bad and reads well but the words are simply there to suit nothing but the rhyme scheme.

vote:5

Captivating use of language but i do not know what tarusian women are? thats my problem for being thick. Some juicy lines in this 8

This is better and tells me all i need. I would amiably recommend a more universal subject like love, loss, happiness, themes that are more accessible but welcome to p/r

Quality ! I discovered through laughing a brief fountain spurt in my Box area. Loved the end its so fucking sudden like you stormed out in disgust. I could really visualize this and you made this miserable git laugh.

9congrats !

the pleasure was mine 9

Reading this I couldn't help feeling that your trying to write this from the perspective of an accepting audience instead of leading us to a point poetically. I would try and condense this in to 3/4 stanzas making concise points rather than overwhelming us with lots of words and little thought provocation.
Its not as crap as a 2 but thats poemranker for you heres what it is in my opinion 5

I'm not sure this has an identity of a poem or a lyric. As a poem its exhausting and as a lyric the singer would need to be rescued by full stops. Its not awful but not good neither just a mass of phrases the amount to little. 5

Hi its hte cunt here,

You are not Horus, Bachus or Jermi Handrinos so you are the cunt, I mean click in to your user name and you've wrote one poem? the real jeremi b handrinos has written loads of poems,

as i respect horus this is his vindication from any misinterpreted slurs on his good character,

yours sincerely

the cunt cadUcus

i am indeed 6.00ft, weigh 12 stone 3 and have a beautiful cock.

Ahh shucks its not that big, maybe 7.7 inches.

Not sure how what inspired this, were you in the locker room at the swimming baths on june 14th at the Waldorf in london?

hmm

i aint voting

your ever so funny i have put you on page 4 of my 'hilarious people list' , yet again a competently written poem that will be remembered by many people for years for its imagery, rich use of language and superior poetry to any other poem ever written, serious or funny.

well done ! **4**

By the way y'know you've helped me in my writing more than you'll ever know. Have you notice how long I've been absent from p/r?

Just wanted to say thanks to you and read this poem which inspired me to write.....(ahh that would give away sooooooooooooo much)

10 (and i'm logging out to 10 it again)

A disgustingly beautifully repugnant poem on a equally disgusting man who created a church institution that fucked religion in the same way.

Exquisite 9