Re: Joshua by Bachus |
26-Apr-03/2:03 PM |
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Re: Joshua by Bachus |
26-Apr-03/2:01 PM |
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Re: a comment on Landscapes In The Sky by anitawit |
26-Apr-03/1:40 PM |
'(a) myriad' is right, thanks
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Re: a comment on Landscapes In The Sky by anitawit |
26-Apr-03/1:37 PM |
Don't have no wings like some - got to use clouds; ain't creativity, only necessity.
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Re: a comment on I Speak of Expanses by anitawit |
26-Apr-03/1:30 PM |
Yes, yes, yes. Definitely increases the sense of expansion, may be I'll bring myself to lose the last line soon.
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Re: a comment on I Speak of Expanses by anitawit |
26-Apr-03/1:23 PM |
nice repetition of repetative use of repeated repetition
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Re: a comment on Landscapes In The Sky by anitawit |
25-Apr-03/1:55 PM |
I had 'myriads' first but changed it. I thought 'myriad' was collective, isn't it?
You are right, I just wrote it; it was one beautiful evening in the mountains of Nepal, there were forms and colours in the clouds ... Maybe, because I'm a painter
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Re: a comment on I Speak of Expanses by anitawit |
25-Apr-03/1:45 PM |
How about -
'Yellow fields stretched 'round me' and
'Into this darkness I alight'?
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Re: Fighting erosion by INTRANSIT |
22-Apr-03/11:49 PM |
How about 'Orangutan' instead of 'Orangutans'?
Beautiful.
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Re: For my wife by INTRANSIT |
21-Apr-03/10:31 PM |
Beautiful, esp. last four lines.
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Re: a comment on Friends by anitawit |
12-Apr-03/11:47 PM |
Hello to you. Thanks for the comment.
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Re: a comment on The Advent Of Monsoon by anitawit |
2-Jan-03/10:52 PM |
i thought i did leave some clues in the 'brilliant blue' of the sky and the 'ultramarine hills', not enough? separate the light and the dark lines altogether instead of mingling them?
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Re: a comment on The Advent Of Monsoon by anitawit |
2-Jan-03/10:46 PM |
some sort of a preface to the advent of monsoons, perhaps?
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Re: a comment on The Advent Of Monsoon by anitawit |
2-Jan-03/10:39 PM |
if you notice, 'yellow sunshine' is cheery, it has 'slender fingers'- but it withdraws and the 'ominous white' gets in, i wanted to contrast the yellow sunshine to the ominous white- monsoon fog and the milky opacity of the sky during continuous rains.wanted to contrast the warmth of the sun with the chill of rainy weather
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Re: Blues by Christof |
2-Jan-03/10:22 PM |
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Re: a comment on Kernel by anitawit |
2-Jan-03/10:01 PM |
Not at all. In fact i am greatful you gave so much time & effort. i get the idea from your edit, but i'm not satisfied yet, will work on it and edit with your advice in mind.
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Re: a comment on The Advent Of Monsoon by anitawit |
2-Jan-03/9:55 PM |
wanted to create a sense of - personification- in 'dribble silently'- as in a creepy creature dribbling...wanting to be let in... uh, don't know if it worked.
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Re: a comment on He Told Me Once by anitawit |
2-Jan-03/9:49 PM |
he decided to stay, but the torment has lost its keen, much to my dismay!
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Re: a comment on Kernel by anitawit |
2-Jan-03/8:57 PM |
Should I work on the last three lines at the expense of the shape...?
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Re: a comment on Kernel by anitawit |
2-Jan-03/8:54 PM |
Thanks for the comment, will work on it.
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