on Joshua by Bachus
26 Apr 2003, 2:03 PM
Beautiful, almost cried.
replying on Landscapes In The Sky by anitawit
26 Apr 2003, 1:40 PM
'(a) myriad' is right, thanks
replying on Landscapes In The Sky by anitawit
26 Apr 2003, 1:37 PM
Don't have no wings like some - got to use clouds; ain't creativity, only necessity.
replying on I Speak of Expanses by anitawit
26 Apr 2003, 1:30 PM
Yes, yes, yes. Definitely increases the sense of expansion, may be I'll bring myself to lose the last line soon.
replying on I Speak of Expanses by anitawit
26 Apr 2003, 1:23 PM
nice repetition of repetative use of repeated repetition
replying on Landscapes In The Sky by anitawit
25 Apr 2003, 1:55 PM
I had 'myriads' first but changed it. I thought 'myriad' was collective, isn't it?
You are right, I just wrote it; it was one beautiful evening in the mountains of Nepal, there were forms and colours in the clouds ... Maybe, because I'm a painter
You are right, I just wrote it; it was one beautiful evening in the mountains of Nepal, there were forms and colours in the clouds ... Maybe, because I'm a painter
replying on I Speak of Expanses by anitawit
25 Apr 2003, 1:45 PM
How about -
'Yellow fields stretched 'round me' and
'Into this darkness I alight'?
'Yellow fields stretched 'round me' and
'Into this darkness I alight'?
on Fighting erosion by INTRANSIT
22 Apr 2003, 11:49 PM
How about 'Orangutan' instead of 'Orangutans'?
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
on For my wife by INTRANSIT
21 Apr 2003, 10:31 PM
Beautiful, esp. last four lines.
replying on The Advent Of Monsoon by anitawit
2 Jan 2003, 10:52 PM
i thought i did leave some clues in the 'brilliant blue' of the sky and the 'ultramarine hills', not enough? separate the light and the dark lines altogether instead of mingling them?
replying on The Advent Of Monsoon by anitawit
2 Jan 2003, 10:46 PM
some sort of a preface to the advent of monsoons, perhaps?
replying on The Advent Of Monsoon by anitawit
2 Jan 2003, 10:39 PM
if you notice, 'yellow sunshine' is cheery, it has 'slender fingers'- but it withdraws and the 'ominous white' gets in, i wanted to contrast the yellow sunshine to the ominous white- monsoon fog and the milky opacity of the sky during continuous rains.wanted to contrast the warmth of the sun with the chill of rainy weather
replying on The Advent Of Monsoon by anitawit
2 Jan 2003, 9:55 PM
wanted to create a sense of - personification- in 'dribble silently'- as in a creepy creature dribbling...wanting to be let in... uh, don't know if it worked.
replying on He Told Me Once by anitawit
2 Jan 2003, 9:49 PM
he decided to stay, but the torment has lost its keen, much to my dismay!