O.K. NOW I see that yer a Brit, Haven't voted, or commented on anything. read read read. comment, visit, learn. Welcome.

If this is what you want do say, that's o.k, But re-write, again and again. Where to begin? In the first stanza, using dread, and then beating it 'till it's dead, No. Buy a Thesourus, find a chorus, and next time... try not to bore us. But KEEP WRITING.

I would leave the same comment that someone left on my poem 'To My Love'... This probably doesn't mean much except to you and the person you wrote it for. Except, I know, It means so much more, Or at least I thought so at the time. Thanx ED.

The shadow of THIS mortal CONSTANTLY questions my fate, But it's all about morals anyway! Right?
A few miscpewings. elliminate the dash between mime artist. Other than that???

Some misspelling, Your metre is off also. Just a word or two omitted or added in places may help some.While I admit compromise does often help, there are times when you absolutely cannot give on an issue.

Must be a terrible thirst!

I guess you're learning that the people here don't like this kind of stuff. Hoping the title will shield you?

Enjoyable reading

Don't we all.

Yea, I feel it too. What can ya' do?

Trapped in the same circle as the rest of us, I see.
Welome to the other side of humanity.

This one just feels kind of stilted, for lack of a better word. Maybe choppy, no. well, I ramble. Perhaps just a bit smoother? Or... maybe it's just me, what the hell do I know.

I am at a loss for words. I love the way you mixed it all up, And painted such a picture.

I would tend to agree, We are losing our sense of morality

lies this need? Your poetry has improved quite a bit, I really liked this one.

You seemed to be chasing your tail for a bit, But really quite well written. Me likey

Are you decomposing in that lye in your bed?

A good image, I just like the way it sounds.

Sadly, true.

And yet still you stand.