poemranker ::20 most recent comments by INTRANSIT (641-660) and replies

Comments byINTRANSIT, 641–660 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

replying on Haunted by Bachus 30 Aug 2004, 3:10 PM
No. It is a small and distant message
like a fortune strip on fire
quietly warning
step aside
there's a motion in motion
stack smoke filling sky
like blood from a pencil struck heart
smacking through keyboard gears
do not wait
motion waits not for waiting
it will get here
when it gets here
and follow here.
Just be wearing
something flammable.
replying on What Has It Gotten Us? by Dovina 29 Aug 2004, 12:42 PM
I'm all for women's lib. If they can do for themselves, that's less I gotta do. I'm mildly chauvy today. Chauvy chase?
replying on Haunted by Bachus 29 Aug 2004, 5:34 AM
I stuck with the water theme too long on that last one, didn't i.
on Haunted by Bachus 29 Aug 2004, 5:17 AM
Do you think/feel it is somehow your duty to guide those who follow your work? Picked up O.B. o A. P.
Spot on, as usual.
on What Has It Gotten Us? by Dovina 29 Aug 2004, 5:14 AM
look up: more than i bargained for.
replying on Surfer by INTRANSIT 28 Aug 2004, 10:22 AM
Thanks guys. Had to edit. The opening line didn't jive with the closer. Had to make him more active.
on Pomegranate Girl by Caducus 17 Aug 2004, 12:10 PM
I think you would do better to lose any rhyme here, even accidental. Good to see ya.
on Navy Pier by Doug 17 Aug 2004, 12:08 PM
concerned. intersting. not sure i like it but it's better than the first time 'round
on Pomegranate Girl by Caducus 17 Aug 2004, 12:06 PM
I wish I had more time.
on The Fog And The Androids by Shardik 17 Aug 2004, 12:04 PM
Narrow space between the fog and the ground. Just right for crawling.
on Child of my Buttocks by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 7 Aug 2004, 7:12 AM
"and god goes not at all with wine" ace.
on Mike Pike!! by DR Limerick 7 Aug 2004, 6:35 AM
and that's when Tina screamed "IKE!"
replying on Solid Understanding by Dovina 6 Aug 2004, 12:39 PM
inimate? intimate? inmate? uh-oh.
replying on Solid Understanding by Dovina 6 Aug 2004, 12:38 PM
might I ask how you became so well versed in, erm, verse?
on Honey by Jeremi B. Handrinos 6 Aug 2004, 8:41 AM
I don't like *trippy* and the first two lines of the last stanza go pimply try to change the why/fly.

The rest, unlike me, is ace.
on Marina by INTRANSIT 6 Aug 2004, 8:36 AM
Here. Let me douse this "poem" with the only score that actually befits such a pompous fog.1
on The huntsman's secret by Stephen Robins 5 Aug 2004, 11:17 AM
Too bad neither one of us is bad enough to grace the worst list ,eh?
replying on Marina by INTRANSIT 5 Aug 2004, 10:17 AM
You might be right on the caesura. Close call. It feels a bit enjambment heavy maybe. Getting sober?
replying on Peace that Passes Understanding by Dovina 5 Aug 2004, 6:36 AM
again, I should trust my instincts. upgraded.
replying on Marina by INTRANSIT 5 Aug 2004, 6:35 AM
wouldn't the masts be brushing the sheets, then? I see what you mean. are commas allowed in Haiku? Maybe the tall masts are brushing their teeth. dunno.