poemranker ::Marina by INTRANSIT

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Haiku № 109909

Marina

by INTRANSIT

Member since 2002 · Posted 4 Aug 2004 · 9 comments

Early morning fog filters through tall masts waiting brushing tight furled sheets

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mean 6.64 weighted 5.82 rank 1642 views 273 View voting details →

11 votes so far. Yours would make 12.11 votes so far

9 comments

[9] Dovina 4-Aug-04/5:25 PM Reply
Sailboat waiting to sail or sailing though foggy. Like it.

Try "Peace that Passes Understanding" again and see if my explanation makes sense. I'd like to know.

Very little action on Poemranker today. I mean by users who don't call themselves "not Dovina."
[9] Dan garcia-Black 4-Aug-04/11:54 PM Reply
i think the masts are waiting and the fog is brushing. "Tall, waiting masts?" or is the fog waiting and brushing? Great images.
[n/a] INTRANSIT › Dan garcia-Black 5-Aug-04/6:35 AM Reply
wouldn't the masts be brushing the sheets, then? I see what you mean. are commas allowed in Haiku? Maybe the tall masts are brushing their teeth. dunno.
[9] Dan garcia-Black › INTRANSIT 5-Aug-04/8:53 AM Reply
I think that Zodiac once(perhaps more) refered to me as a "dimtard.' If that comment had been in regard to my comment on this poem, I would have to agree. Yeah, I see what you mean about the masts brushing. Don't know about haiku commas but there should be a natural caesura at the end of each line. If I had read more carefully, I might have caught the masts waiting and the sheets brushing. Too much lack of Alcohol last night. Three weeks and counting the seconds.
[n/a] INTRANSIT › Dan garcia-Black 5-Aug-04/10:17 AM Reply
You might be right on the caesura. Close call. It feels a bit enjambment heavy maybe. Getting sober?
[9] Dan garcia-Black › INTRANSIT 5-Aug-04/10:42 AM Reply
No, not sober. I have just stopped drinking alcoholic beverages forever, for the third time in twenty years. As for enjambment, Haiku is so rigid that it begs for it in order to make any sense.
[6] edpeterson 5-Aug-04/1:18 PM Reply
too much
[n/a] INTRANSIT 6-Aug-04/8:36 AM Reply
Here. Let me douse this "poem" with the only score that actually befits such a pompous fog.1
[8] cat › INTRANSIT 6-Aug-04/12:28 PM Reply
I don't agree with the score, but your comment, mocking at it's finest.

I give you a 10.