Re: The Unforgiven II by alvinb |
31-Mar-06/10:54 AM |
Of all the Metallica songs you chose to rip-off, you picked this one?! I'm giving you a zero, obviously, and kicking you square in the nuts(if you have them) if I ever see you. Next time go with something like "Seek & Destroy."
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Re: Shy, quiet by Ranger |
5-Apr-06/10:01 AM |
Well, I didn't catch the club-theme going on here, but I still think this is a good poem. I like the third line. The last line is very good, I can relate to that. All that said, you've done much better than this.
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Re: These Past Sixteen Months by amanda_dcosta |
5-Apr-06/10:06 AM |
I liked this up until the second-to-last stanza, and I don't think I need to explain why. I like the fourth stanza the best, very nice.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
5-Apr-06/10:11 AM |
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Re: The Day After Next by cyan9 |
5-Apr-06/10:23 AM |
I really like this. I'm not sure that many people know what black and white camera film melting is like, so perhaps you would consider a different analogy. I like the "jerked from frame to frame" and "like children crying and the screeching of worn brakes." Very good imagry.
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Re: Pastoral Care (Psalm 23 revisited) by Dovina |
5-Apr-06/10:33 AM |
I like it, but...psalm? This makes me think of how I was growing up as a teenager, and the sequential maturing into my current relationship with them. The only thing is my mom never rubbed it in like this woman did.
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Re: Inbetween Lovers/Blueprint by Ranger |
6-Apr-06/12:55 PM |
Yes!!! This is the good stuff, my friend. I embelishes how I feel so much that I want to read it to certain people and then tell them to "fuck off." There are so many good lines, I'll name some favorites: 3rd line, 2nd stanza...1st line, 3rd stanza...lines 7-8, 4th stanza...and of course the end line is golden. I wouldn't change a thing, I'm giving you a 9.5.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Apr-06/12:59 PM |
While System of a Down is better than Metallica, you should probably think of writing your own material rather than plagiarizing the hard work of others. And for what? So you look good to the people on this site? You must lead a very sad and pathetic existance. I'm giving you the number that best represents the asshole you are.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Apr-06/12:22 PM |
You should stick to ripping off real artists.
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Re: College Bound by Miggy |
12-Apr-06/10:40 AM |
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Re: Maybe I Wasnât Born on a Foolâs Day by Dovina |
12-Apr-06/10:42 AM |
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Re: Genesis by Dovina |
12-Apr-06/10:49 AM |
Sounds like a book of lies used to control the masses and explain what feble minds cannot comprehend that I once read. God sounds like an egotistical bastard, what makes Him so God damn perfect? I like it.
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Re: Random Design by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
12-Apr-06/10:56 AM |
I agree with what has already been said, and I'd like to add that at the end of the 7th stanza, you should cut the last line: "Only it's not" as that is implied when you say "like a dream." I like the last stanza the most, very nice.
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Re: My secret to life by amanda_dcosta |
22-Jun-06/10:34 PM |
Who is this Jesus fellow??? He sounds facinating/fictional. Will you pass this note to him for me?
Dear Jebus,
Do you like me?
YES []
NO []
MAYBE []
Thanks.
Heart,
Nick
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Re: The Lonesome Loser by Dovina |
14-Jul-06/12:09 PM |
Please stop writing about me.
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Re: of Arabia by ecargo |
14-Jul-06/12:19 PM |
All too true is the second to last stanza. Rock the casbah.
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Re: Mind Over Madness by drnick |
20-Jul-06/7:51 AM |
This is about drugs, and being on them.
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Re: Suicide Dream by Ranger |
26-Jul-06/9:55 AM |
I really love the image you've created with this one. So dark and eerie, which happens to be my favorite scene. I don't know how you do it, but you do it again and again. I'd like to read that short story if you ever do write it.
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Re: Something More by drnick |
11-Aug-06/8:17 AM |
fuck, it should say "you need to lose.", not "you need to loose."
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Re: Rushed into the blur by Miggy |
26-Aug-06/8:58 AM |
I'll give it to you that this is a step in the right direction as it is not a traditional subject matter. However, your lyrics are still boring and say nothing profound.
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