Re: a comment on Without my Glasses by Niphredil	3-Oct-05/7:44 PM
Just for possible future use (you never know) and I hope you don't take offense but how does a heart of America boy keep himself from having his head sawed off by psychotic Islamic fundaMENTALists with rusty hunting knives in the heart of beelzebub's shit heap. I could be wrong about the beelzebub's shit heap part. If I am I appologize. I might have been thinking of West Virginia at the time.
Re: Why I’m Homeless by Dovina	3-Oct-05/7:26 PM
Everyone has a home. You've just got to find it.
Re: The Sun by MacFrantic	30-Sep-05/8:20 AM
Couplet 4 is redundant and contradictory. (How the hell did you manage that?) Why call it a free verse poem? Kind of a good lullaby.
Re: Yield by wilco	30-Sep-05/8:09 AM
Good ol' country song.
Re: A Meadow, Among Other Things by Enkidu	30-Sep-05/8:05 AM
What bad luck to survive a horrific plane crash only to be chased down, killed and devoured by vicious bunny rabbits. Funny stuff.
Re: a comment on How Angels Smell by Dovina	30-Sep-05/7:45 AM
The Vin Diesel you see in movies is actually a rare hairless gorilla indigenous to the jungle/toxic waste dump known as The Bronx. This explains the indecipherable monkey babble that dribbles from his mouth whenever he attempts to speak ('cause he's from The Bronx. Get it? brlllrumpbump-Tishhh.) I've sped up the evolutionary process for his species so that within the next five years he and his kind will evolve into giant erect penises that will unite to take over the world beating all humans to death with their huge heads only to soon become extinct in the subsequent celebration catastrophe when they all drown in their own ejaculation. The world will then be the way it always should have been, Stupid. Hear the prophecy of Evil Denis.
Re: a comment on The regrets made me voids by Prince of Void	30-Sep-05/6:31 AM
Gandolf's ultragay?! Those poor little Hobbits.
Re: Through Your Eyes... by jlynnwall	29-Sep-05/9:13 AM
Looks like a bar code.
Re: pep talk by ay deee	29-Sep-05/9:05 AM
Good one you god damn mercenary.
Re: a comment on The regrets made me voids by Prince of Void	29-Sep-05/8:53 AM
(psst) Roquefort.
Re: The regrets made me voids by Prince of Void	29-Sep-05/8:51 AM
Void=Nothing Nothing=-0- -0-=My vote
Re: a comment on A Barefoot Day in the Park by Dovina	29-Sep-05/8:33 AM
I saw the tree reference but shouldn't you be standing not sitting? Wouldn't moss more likely grow on your limbs than your hands? At first it seems like the tree is a metaphor for how long you waited there but then it starts to imply an actual transformation into the tree which would be really cool but you'd need to say "My feet took root" and "moss grew over my hands" To bring out the actualness of it. If you go the symbolic route then the moss and the rooted feet have both symbolic and tree meanings (Like a tree I'm rooted here. I must have waited long if moss is growing on me) but leaves growing out of your fingers is too impossible to carry the double meaning so it must indicate an actual or perceived transformation by the narrator. Even so I really liked the poem and it's images.
Re: A Barefoot Day in the Park by Dovina	28-Sep-05/3:45 PM
Good except "leaves from my fingers" seems to have no metaphoric or symbolic reason and is not based in reality either. Maybe something more like "leaves in my hair". The title reminds me of that Redford and Fonda movie.
Re: a comment on How Angels Smell by Dovina	28-Sep-05/3:32 PM
My name is Vin Diesel and yes behold I am the Lord God.
Re: a comment on How Angels Smell by Dovina	28-Sep-05/7:23 AM
As it turns out I can not really hear you for I am only a figment of your imagination.
Re: my friend beth we wear by jessicazee	25-Sep-05/11:34 AM
I spank this hurricane a monkey throwing but Snickers at me.
Re: Vice, Depravation, and Solace by D. $ Fontera	25-Sep-05/11:28 AM
Better than it should be.
Re: How Angels Smell by Dovina	25-Sep-05/11:13 AM
The Angel Michael smells like cookie dough and looks like John Travolta. I heard they were blind but the not smelling thing is new to me. The next thing you'll be telling me is they have no feeling which explains why they don't bother having dicks. Maybe God just smells really bad. That's why the angels have Michael Jackson noses and God hides from us. Next time you smell something funky and you can't figure out where it came from feel comfort in knowing the holy father is near. I like the idea of the poem. The blindness of faith and all.
Re: a comment on The Last Suburb by unknown	25-Sep-05/10:49 AM
You might go this route. It's a quiet place, this gated community so well integrated The scent of magnolias filling the air with promise of spring the squirrels bravely leaping from tree to tree to tree It's a well-mannered community though visiting hours end early no one ever need complain visitors don't often remain long silences are hard to sustain Patience is a patient's pace It's an AABBBC CCDDDE EEFFFG...etc. Rhyme pattern. See you don't have to change much to re-stylize your poem. Just decide how you want it to be and do it. It doesn't have to rhyme either it just has to sound good.
Re: From Dust To Flesh To Texas by Caducus	25-Sep-05/9:46 AM
Drop the next to last line. It's out of place and seems preachy. Otherwise real good. She was 18 when you were 30?! You old dog you;)