replying on phases of futility... by Bhaskaryya
11 Nov 2005, 7:34 AM
My appetite inclines towards 'strawberrish' or 'chocolatish'! (self-made words, mind you!)
replying on I LOVE A PROSTITUTE by Bhaskaryya
11 Nov 2005, 7:31 AM
But the most controversial question is 'was Mary actually a prostitute?' Or was she as many say an honourable princess who was later defamed as a prostitute by the church to save their own reputation?
Questionable and controversial!
Questionable and controversial!
on trully, madly, deeply by Blindpoetry
10 Nov 2005, 7:07 PM
"Your lips are TOO* tight"
Anyway this has a lyrical feel to it and could work if put to some music. Needs a bit tweaking here and there I believe.
Anyway this has a lyrical feel to it and could work if put to some music. Needs a bit tweaking here and there I believe.
replying on phases of futility... by Bhaskaryya
10 Nov 2005, 6:29 PM
If you used 'seasoned' as a synonym for 'seasonal' (not correctly, but in poetry it could work) don't you think it could well be a 'seasoned' mate? May be the two people met only once a year.
And 'seasoned' could mean 'evergreen' or 'experienced' too. May be he was (or could have been) a seasoned partner to her.
Such a tale might seem unimaginable to many but it's not so. For some people their first love is the love of a life-time for them. May be a wastage, but that's how it is.
And 'seasoned' could mean 'evergreen' or 'experienced' too. May be he was (or could have been) a seasoned partner to her.
Such a tale might seem unimaginable to many but it's not so. For some people their first love is the love of a life-time for them. May be a wastage, but that's how it is.
replying on phases of futility... by Bhaskaryya
10 Nov 2005, 8:01 AM
The '...' shows the story continues. It's a never ending cycle!
replying on phases of futility... by Bhaskaryya
10 Nov 2005, 8:00 AM
I think I'll retain the THE as it refers to one particular thing. Leaves is a metaphor for memory and thus THE is is required.
Yes, if you look at the title, it opens the poem to a different level of interpretation and it has more beyond the surface.
The poem is about the three stanzas in the life of the man in question. The first is his youth where he loves this woman blindly and his love makes him pretty touchy and frgaile. But she's hard-hearted and remains unmoved by his affection.
Later, they develop a certain amount of friendship but it's still not enough to quench the thirst of the man. He offers her his friendship and love but it's still not enough for the woman to develop the long term relationship with him.
The third stanza looks more into the life of the woman. They are no longer together or even in touch. She too is now old as the oak and his memory passes by her sometimes and causes a momentary distress i her mind but even that passes of soon and she's back to her normal life.
Certain pahrases like 'seasoned mate' and 'too much is never enough' have deeper metaphors but then again, they are for the reader to figure out!
Thabks for reading!
Yes, if you look at the title, it opens the poem to a different level of interpretation and it has more beyond the surface.
The poem is about the three stanzas in the life of the man in question. The first is his youth where he loves this woman blindly and his love makes him pretty touchy and frgaile. But she's hard-hearted and remains unmoved by his affection.
Later, they develop a certain amount of friendship but it's still not enough to quench the thirst of the man. He offers her his friendship and love but it's still not enough for the woman to develop the long term relationship with him.
The third stanza looks more into the life of the woman. They are no longer together or even in touch. She too is now old as the oak and his memory passes by her sometimes and causes a momentary distress i her mind but even that passes of soon and she's back to her normal life.
Certain pahrases like 'seasoned mate' and 'too much is never enough' have deeper metaphors but then again, they are for the reader to figure out!
Thabks for reading!
replying on I LOVE A PROSTITUTE by Bhaskaryya
10 Nov 2005, 12:54 AM
Hey, could you please tell me what does weighted score mean and how's it calculated?
on Farm animals by INTRANSIT
9 Nov 2005, 8:56 PM
A great poem with some excellent metaphors. However, I hope you wouldn't mind me calling this a loose adaptation of the traditional ghazal. Ghazals are a passion with me and the traditional form comes along various rules and restrictions including rhymes and refrains.
This might help you a bit: http://allpoetry.com/Column/784848
This might help you a bit: http://allpoetry.com/Column/784848
on Szaehling by MacFrantic
9 Nov 2005, 8:41 PM
you a computer nerd? Anyway, this was good!
replying on I LOVE A PROSTITUTE by Bhaskaryya
9 Nov 2005, 8:30 PM
I wouldn't disagree
on Sonata for Robin and Poet by Dovina
9 Nov 2005, 6:49 AM
Why hold a candle in a bright blue day? Anyway, this was light-hearted and funny. A great read!
I loved the 3rd and 4th stanzas especially!
I loved the 3rd and 4th stanzas especially!
replying on I LOVE A PROSTITUTE by Bhaskaryya
9 Nov 2005, 6:38 AM
Thanks a lot for commenting. "Prostitute' here was more inclined toward Mary Magdalene. There are few more metaphorical elements within the poem (including the structure too) but I guess that's for the reader to figure out! :)
on A Kiss Beneath The Blossom Tree by Caducus
7 Nov 2005, 9:19 PM
Beautiful!
on In (ghazal) by INTRANSIT
21 May 2005, 2:16 AM
Is this even a ghazal? I thought ghazals were a string of couplets which made sense individually too. (Like the pearl necklace which looks beautiful while strung together but is worthy of praise while viewed singularly too)
Ghazals have a certain refrain in the 2nd line of every couplet (and both lines of the first) added with a monorhyme before the refrain.
You need to address yourself in the last couplet (called signature couplet)
Well, there are around 50 rules to make a concrete ghazal and this follows none.
I like the content though.....6
PS: I don't post much on this site, but I'd put up few of my ghazals now if you'd like to look at them.
Ghazals have a certain refrain in the 2nd line of every couplet (and both lines of the first) added with a monorhyme before the refrain.
You need to address yourself in the last couplet (called signature couplet)
Well, there are around 50 rules to make a concrete ghazal and this follows none.
I like the content though.....6
PS: I don't post much on this site, but I'd put up few of my ghazals now if you'd like to look at them.
replying on Forest Rain by bamf909
25 Feb 2005, 10:43 PM
http://allpoetry.com/Column/423262
Here's a link that might help you. BTW, since you write in syllables and not onjis, even a 2-6-3 syllable poem on nature is a perfect haiku. May be that would make it easier at times if you fet stuck!
Thanks.
Here's a link that might help you. BTW, since you write in syllables and not onjis, even a 2-6-3 syllable poem on nature is a perfect haiku. May be that would make it easier at times if you fet stuck!
Thanks.
on Itâs the Management by Dovina
25 Feb 2005, 10:25 PM
Lol..that was good.
By the way, what's the job of a fireman during earthquake disasters?? May be they do have work, just that I'm unaware of it! ;)
Nice poem!
By the way, what's the job of a fireman during earthquake disasters?? May be they do have work, just that I'm unaware of it! ;)
Nice poem!
on Into the Wreckage by zodiac
25 Feb 2005, 10:18 PM
Beautiful work! I'd have loved to see this with the odd rhymes struck out but it was great nonetheless.