replying on Spanish Patio at Old Mission Inn by Dovina
1 Nov 2008, 3:13 PM
Intent was always meant!
replying on definitely/maybe/mobius by malpaso
19 Oct 2008, 11:44 AM
Nothing.
Good answer to her. Labeling it goes nowhere. And escapism is a good thing, especially when a truck is about to run over you
Good answer to her. Labeling it goes nowhere. And escapism is a good thing, especially when a truck is about to run over you
on a clover or two by T. Jonathron Remp
19 Oct 2008, 11:39 AM
funny, could make the last 5 words a new line
replying on Spanish Patio at Old Mission Inn by Dovina
19 Oct 2008, 11:35 AM
1. Your last poem notched up twice the comments of this one.
2. Straw Man: "the whole point of poemeranker is to achieve the highest comment average in the entire universe."
3. "posting again is a vain endeavour."
Conclusion: Your sense for deducing marvelous wonders in the bewilderment of human pursuits is simply outstanding.
2. Straw Man: "the whole point of poemeranker is to achieve the highest comment average in the entire universe."
3. "posting again is a vain endeavour."
Conclusion: Your sense for deducing marvelous wonders in the bewilderment of human pursuits is simply outstanding.
on Him, again and again... by hobojo
15 Oct 2008, 11:25 AM
a bit too wordy. example: For I truly had the best of intentions - can be something like: I meant well.
I think "him" and "you" are the same person.
I think "him" and "you" are the same person.
on Sleeping Beauty by celticskatermatt1
15 Oct 2008, 11:19 AM
Clearly you love her, but clearly too cliched and unedited for posting. Cheers
replying on Spanish Patio at Old Mission Inn by Dovina
15 Oct 2008, 11:16 AM
not true, but thanks :)
replying on Spanish Patio at Old Mission Inn by Dovina
15 Oct 2008, 11:16 AM
I'd like to keep it light and unbiblical, but the experience, if I am to write true to it, was religious. Thus, grander temples fail, not fall, to match it. Dont know that song. Hey, post a poem for a change :)
on Amazing Grace ~ for all bass drummers ;) by Celticai
6 Oct 2008, 4:56 PM
I'd leave out the yes's only because it sounds more like a drum without them. Most of the lines have a drum beat, but a few don't, like "Overlaid with the haunting tones of the pipes" Not that they all have to, but it would be nice.
on The Story of Wallace, Janey and Norman by Bethy
6 Oct 2008, 4:52 PM
it sounds true. I don't care if it's not. The meter is mostly so good that the odd lines stand out. Is there a reason for threw, not through, used throughout?
replying on Rails to Trails by Dovina
6 Oct 2008, 4:41 PM
sigh. I am on a bicycle much of the time, and sometimes on a rails-to-trails project where we, the pundits, have won against the developers. It's still rare to win these wars, but a battle worth a fair amount of blood.
replying on Rails to Trails by Dovina
6 Oct 2008, 4:34 PM
Hey, welcome back. Been gone myself, but not as gone as you. At least you didn't point out an up-tone word at the end of a line. hehe
replying on Rails to Trails by Dovina
5 Oct 2008, 1:48 PM
Senseless to let these perfectly fine linear parks go to parking lots and houses when, with a little bloodshed, we can put them into trails.
replying on Rails to Trails by Dovina
5 Oct 2008, 1:46 PM
Train nuts are fading with the rails, rusting with flanged wheels. I wish him a train worth watching, but think he'd better get on the death car and help us look for good ways to bury them. Tell him to fight off the developers and support trails
on night owl (4) by elementalidad
28 Sep 2008, 7:45 PM
you could leave out - but. Makes it more open, seems