Re: a comment on Spanish Patio at Old Mission Inn by Dovina	1-Nov-08/3:13 PM
Intent was always meant!
Re: a comment on definitely/maybe/mobius by malpaso	19-Oct-08/11:44 AM
Nothing. Good answer to her. Labeling it goes nowhere. And escapism is a good thing, especially when a truck is about to run over you
Re: a clover or two by T. Jonathron Remp	19-Oct-08/11:39 AM
funny, could make the last 5 words a new line
Re: a comment on Spanish Patio at Old Mission Inn by Dovina	19-Oct-08/11:35 AM
1. Your last poem notched up twice the comments of this one. 2. Straw Man: "the whole point of poemeranker is to achieve the highest comment average in the entire universe." 3. "posting again is a vain endeavour." Conclusion: Your sense for deducing marvelous wonders in the bewilderment of human pursuits is simply outstanding.
Re: Him, again and again... by hobojo	15-Oct-08/11:25 AM
a bit too wordy. example: For I truly had the best of intentions - can be something like: I meant well. I think "him" and "you" are the same person.
Re: Sleeping Beauty by celticskatermatt1	15-Oct-08/11:19 AM
Clearly you love her, but clearly too cliched and unedited for posting. Cheers
Re: a comment on Spanish Patio at Old Mission Inn by Dovina	15-Oct-08/11:16 AM
not true, but thanks :)
Re: a comment on Spanish Patio at Old Mission Inn by Dovina	15-Oct-08/11:16 AM
I'd like to keep it light and unbiblical, but the experience, if I am to write true to it, was religious. Thus, grander temples fail, not fall, to match it. Dont know that song. Hey, post a poem for a change :)
Re: Words by Celticai	15-Oct-08/11:06 AM
You seem groping for the perfect set of words. Much luck! Starting with a cliche is not a good start. "Desperate to portray my mind" is.
Re: Amazing Grace ~ for all bass drummers ;) by Celticai	6-Oct-08/4:56 PM
I'd leave out the yes's only because it sounds more like a drum without them. Most of the lines have a drum beat, but a few don't, like "Overlaid with the haunting tones of the pipes" Not that they all have to, but it would be nice.
Re: The Story of Wallace, Janey and Norman by Bethy	6-Oct-08/4:52 PM
it sounds true. I don't care if it's not. The meter is mostly so good that the odd lines stand out. Is there a reason for threw, not through, used throughout?
Re: my sweet by darylchew	6-Oct-08/4:46 PM
And I'll whisper back, You ugly piece of selfish flesh
Re: a comment on Rails to Trails by Dovina	6-Oct-08/4:41 PM
sigh. I am on a bicycle much of the time, and sometimes on a rails-to-trails project where we, the pundits, have won against the developers. It's still rare to win these wars, but a battle worth a fair amount of blood.
Re: a comment on Rails to Trails by Dovina	6-Oct-08/4:34 PM
Hey, welcome back. Been gone myself, but not as gone as you. At least you didn't point out an up-tone word at the end of a line. hehe
Re: Lover by Bethy	5-Oct-08/2:03 PM
wow, what a dream! Tell me how to dream this way. Or am I wrong?
Re: a comment on Lover by Bethy	5-Oct-08/2:01 PM
"Never believe a woman who tells you how old she is" Oscar Wilde
Re: Beauty? by Celticai	5-Oct-08/1:59 PM
Why is primping fake. Too many women take this absurd approach; they go out looking like boys. My soul is not even approachable if my hair is a rat's nest and my lips look like Tom McCain's.
Re: a comment on Rails to Trails by Dovina	5-Oct-08/1:48 PM
Senseless to let these perfectly fine linear parks go to parking lots and houses when, with a little bloodshed, we can put them into trails.
Re: a comment on Rails to Trails by Dovina	5-Oct-08/1:46 PM
Train nuts are fading with the rails, rusting with flanged wheels. I wish him a train worth watching, but think he'd better get on the death car and help us look for good ways to bury them. Tell him to fight off the developers and support trails
Re: night owl (4) by elementalidad	28-Sep-08/7:45 PM
you could leave out - but. Makes it more open, seems