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Lover (Free verse) by Bethy
Only yesterday, I saw him, his wings in full spread. I notice his eyes, they were of blood red. He wisp around me, and lightly touched down, I looked at his body, it made my heart pound. His nails drew across me, I could hardly think, he thrust himself forward,slowly, gently, perfectly in sync. I searched for an escape, still bound by his stare. His breath on my bosom, his eyes everywhere. His caress stilled me, my thinking not clear. I reached out to touch him, but he wasn't there.

Up the ladder: Fine Line

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Arithmetic Mean: 8.5
Weighted score: 5.1659904
Overall Rank: 5091
Posted: September 29, 2008 10:11 AM PDT; Last modified: September 29, 2008 11:31 AM PDT
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Comments:
[9] Celticai @ 124.186.170.98 | 1-Oct-08/3:40 PM | Reply
An aching refrain.. Bethy did you mean to use wisp or whispered in the fifth line? Just wondered if the use of present tense was purposeful?
[n/a] Bethy @ 165.154.46.98 > Celticai | 2-Oct-08/3:36 AM | Reply
"wisped" and past tense :) spelling error, eekkk
I was hoping someone would see that this was a poem about puberty. I wrote this 29 yrs ago, at age 14...I had a lot of freaky dreams and this was one. Thought I'd submit it and see what would happen. After reading it, I now see that perhaps people would think it to be about a vampire :).Hmmm maybe it was a vampire, heheh. Innocently assuming, none the less...maybe a different title? more info? Of course that would be a lot of changes for an old poem.
Thank you Drummah. Its nice to see new work here on poemranker.
You truly have class and style. :) Bethy
[8] Dovina @ 208.127.228.23 > Bethy | 5-Oct-08/2:01 PM | Reply
"Never believe a woman who tells you how old she is" Oscar Wilde
[8] Dovina @ 208.127.228.23 | 5-Oct-08/2:03 PM | Reply
wow, what a dream! Tell me how to dream this way. Or am I wrong?
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