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Spanish Patio at Old Mission Inn (Free verse) by Dovina
When faith drops so low that God fails to exist When grief is a pathogen masking true looks When rationality deems pleasure is not worth the trouble When a walk is so boring it’s nothing but stiff And nobody hears you cry Then, amid groping and stumbling with surprise you land at a place and the place understands It answers even so strong a case as if it knew charm and grace And welcomes your wonder at what is animate and who is not The Spanish Patio at Old Mission Inn— meaningless clutter it seems at first exuberance of rock and tile and wood portico fountain Saltillo viga Then it clutches, grabs and stops scrapes off the faults that cling kicks out darkness like Eden’s sinners and forces renewal Footsteps slow voices lower air of peace works into you Each one staggers about the earth searching searching waiting for the dross to fall Then, as if selected by maker or made swallowed in a womb of healing disposition and world remake in a place without a reason Why does this place repel invasion while grander temples fail?

Up the ladder: Bound
Down the ladder: Heart Cancer

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.3333335
Weighted score: 5.1589375
Overall Rank: 5129
Posted: October 10, 2008 9:15 PM PDT; Last modified: October 10, 2008 9:15 PM PDT
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Comments:
[8] Ranger @ 81.152.177.114 | 14-Oct-08/1:34 AM | Reply
I like bits of this - some of the first stanza, and the last two lines in particular. 'Fall' would work better than 'fail' for me. I don't think the overtly Biblical imagery does it any favours though. I was thinking more along the lines of an old Gordon Lightfoot song - 'Spanish Moss'.
[n/a] Dovina @ 208.127.228.168 > Ranger | 15-Oct-08/11:16 AM | Reply
I'd like to keep it light and unbiblical, but the experience, if I am to write true to it, was religious. Thus, grander temples fail, not fall, to match it. Dont know that song. Hey, post a poem for a change :)
[8] Ranger @ 81.156.72.228 > Dovina | 18-Oct-08/5:01 PM | Reply
My last post only notched up a measly 7 comments and half of them were probably mine. And as the whole point of poemeranker is to achieve the highest comment average in the entire universe I think posting again is a vain endeavour.
[n/a] Dovina @ 75.82.253.189 > Ranger | 19-Oct-08/11:35 AM | Reply
1. Your last poem notched up twice the comments of this one.
2. Straw Man: "the whole point of poemeranker is to achieve the highest comment average in the entire universe."
3. "posting again is a vain endeavour."
Conclusion: Your sense for deducing marvelous wonders in the bewilderment of human pursuits is simply outstanding.
[9] Bethy @ 165.154.46.134 | 14-Oct-08/8:24 AM | Reply
your toooooo good for this site...:) but don't leave...I love reading what you write Dovina.
I love the second last verse...(Then as if selected)
[n/a] Dovina @ 208.127.228.168 > Bethy | 15-Oct-08/11:16 AM | Reply
not true, but thanks :)
[2] Garrett S Sexton @ 81.159.186.162 | 29-Oct-08/1:08 PM | Reply
Goes on a bit too much for old Sexton here, also contradiction in many many places where intent WAS NOT MEANT!
[n/a] Dovina @ 208.127.228.57 > Garrett S Sexton | 1-Nov-08/3:13 PM | Reply
Intent was always meant!
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