Re: a comment on The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	19-May-06/4:58 PM
Thank you for pointing out that I deposited this lovely crochet-edged hankie next to the bin where it can be seen by passers-by, not only for its crafted beauty, but also for its earthy richness. To have said that I put it IN the bin could only have meant that I was ashamed of it, and that was certainly not your intent. Oh, I am so flattered that you understood this delicate rendering and thought enough of it to apply this fine metaphor.
Re: a comment on The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	19-May-06/4:58 PM
Keep the men in your life dizzy, but never give ‘em anything special. That’s what my grandmother used to say.
Re: Numbers add to nothing by Caducus	19-May-06/4:42 PM
I like it upo to the last line, which preaches. Also, the title bothers me because it is not about numbers or addition or zero, but about sewing and reaping perhaps, or about not killing the bastard after his first murder, or about not killing in the name of justice - something like that.
Re: a comment on Goa by amanda_dcosta	18-May-06/7:51 PM
"Dovina always wants to downsize poems": I've changed my mind. The first verse should read: "Goa beer beaches babes"
Re: Foray by richa	17-May-06/10:46 AM
"Your brown hair an earthy tone" says a lot.
Re: 72 virgins (but the bitches ain't fun) by ALChemy	17-May-06/10:42 AM
Those heavenly hoes died and went there for good reason. The rest of us never made it.
Re: a comment on The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	17-May-06/10:26 AM
If he agrees that I have a third grade mentality, it would probably be the greatest compliment he has given me.
Re: Goa by amanda_dcosta	16-May-06/1:38 PM
This is a nice narrative and story. As a poem, it lacks the usually expected structures. For example, the first verse might be reworded Well known for babes, beaches and beer. Goa - a dream come true. Not crazy about "nay" and "crazily."
Re: Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger	16-May-06/1:27 PM
It’s much clearer now; I believe I get the gist of at least part of it. I like the use of Cupid to stand in for agape love - that's a nice analogy. "Arrow" is a bit confusing. You probably refer to Zeno’s arrow, a paradox where motion is rest. If so, then I think that’s too distant an allusion to expect even above average readers to get. The wrist nearly tearing is good because most people would say "hand tearing" which is probably not historically right. Consistency of the apple tree metaphor: Crimson spheres are imaginable, but emerald-colored apples are not, at least to me. I see other things going on here besides crucifixion. I’d like to see them all tie together somehow. Surely, you wish to show how these things are related.
Re: a comment on The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	16-May-06/12:38 PM
Welcome back. But only when you're on my side.
Re: a comment on The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	16-May-06/12:36 PM
Regarding punctuation: In many of my poems, I do not put commas and periods at the ends of lines, where, grammatically speaking, they should be. I want the reader to pause at the end of each line. I think it makes the poem look better on paper.
Re: a comment on The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	16-May-06/12:36 PM
Frankly, I only saw that I was acting like Seuss after Alchemy mentioned it. I found a stack of his books at a garage sale, a fairly complete set, and can’t seem to get past the third grade mentality of liking them.
Re: a comment on The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	16-May-06/12:35 PM
We are both lovers of Seuss, and lovers of vacation, apparently. You must just have returned from some horrible dive into depravity, otherwise you would have explained your absence. Such explanations are expected of any reputable ranker. I, striving for some degree of honor, hereby advise everyone that on 5/25 I will depart this prestigious site in favor of two months of bicycling in Canada, and will check in here only occasionally. But I can’t be too harsh, having just received a flattering 10. For that I thank you and return a little Seuss: “Just say what you want. You want pickles on trees? Want to swing through the air on a flying trapeze? Just say what you want, and whatever you say, you’ll get on Octember the First.”
Re: With a pithy stroke by D. $ Fontera	15-May-06/7:32 PM
The last line seems to say the same thing twice, which, in a haiku, is far too many.
Re: a comment on The Prodigal Daughter by Dovina	15-May-06/11:20 AM
Thanks for your comments. I fixed the typo in Line 12. I changed “would” to “will” in the last line for clarification. The “SHE” for emphasis is the way I would read it aloud, to contrast with her father's weeping Line 5. But it looks audacious on paper, and I see your point about capitalization not being needed. I would use italics if that were an option in Poemranker.
Re: Mannequin by Roisin	15-May-06/10:33 AM
It's a good little slogan about love (glue) as I see it. But I don't see the significance of the spacing.
Re: a comment on You can go no further. by Dovina	12-May-06/12:31 PM
Thanks Amanda. I’ve become discouraged with poemranker lately, and have not posted as regularly as I did. That’s not your or Ranger’s fault. Especially Ranger; he’s been there commenting on almost every poem. But the other regulars are mostly gone. Maybe I should just trudge ahead anyway. I keep writing poems, but just hold onto them, hoping for change.
Re: a comment on Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger	12-May-06/12:25 PM
I got from the title that two junkies are involved, and the last line shows it. It's the jumble in between I don't get. Sorry, it's probably just me.
Re: Cupid Missed Two Junkies (slightly clearer, rambling draft) by Ranger	12-May-06/12:00 PM
You've stumped me with this one. The first thre lines are nice, then I'm lost. Will come back later. Token vote, as you say, to start the comment counter.
Re: My Prayer by dana071287	12-May-06/9:28 AM
I think God listens to this kind of gushing, but I can't imagine Him doing anything about it. Too sentimental, too little desire for real change.