Re: Absolution by andrewjthomas	23-Aug-04/1:55 PM
A nicely told story. Might want to call it a Prose Poem.
Re: a comment on A Stitch In Time by Dovina	23-Aug-04/9:09 AM
Don’t we try to make them work? The old habits, I mean – even if they aren’t any good and weren’t based on anything good to begin with. Thanks.
Re: a comment on Faith by Dovina	23-Aug-04/9:07 AM
I'm laughing a bit and taking this as a compliment.
Re: Symphony of Despairs by Prince of Void	22-Aug-04/3:01 PM
Yes, such despair, deprivation, disilusionment and misconception. All is void of hope and any glimmer of happiness. Hey, might as well eat, drink and be merry.
Re: a comment on A Stitch In Time by Dovina	22-Aug-04/2:54 PM
Thank you, kind Prince.
Re: a comment on A Stitch In Time by Dovina	22-Aug-04/2:47 PM
On August 7, someone using IP 67.180.80.13, the same as you have been using, voted and anonymous 1 on my poem “Los Angeles.” Apparently it was someone else on the same computer. It doesn’t matter, because I care a lot more about comments than about votes. Thanks for the encouraging, though cryptic, words.
Re: Inquietude by klosterfobik	22-Aug-04/11:23 AM
I would only shorten some of the phrases, otherwise great. For example: narrowed to less than alone, pulled beneath the ruin of was, dropped upon the broken promise of forever - a restless drunken dream
Re: a comment on A Stitch In Time by Dovina	22-Aug-04/9:44 AM
Yes, there’s far too much love. We’ve got to scrub most of it away to get a look at what’s under it and what matters. "Into one from this afternoon" is better. Think I’ll use it.
Re: Dads are suppose to stay by Brandy_n_Cali	21-Aug-04/7:23 AM
The thought is good, but the poem could use more of the devices that attract someone unfamiliar with you and your subject. I often say that the spirit of a poem is more important than it's form, but here form is lacking. You've got the hard part, the rest is easy.
Re: Tonight At The Dead Man's Ball by dougsoderstrom	20-Aug-04/1:34 PM
Not bad, like a lyric, could be sung at the opening of the Republican convention.
Re: R.I.P (Epitaphs) by MacFrantic	20-Aug-04/10:35 AM
The first verse is great, says it all.
Re: a comment on My Pain For You by Enchantres	19-Aug-04/10:54 AM
I suppose what I'm trying to say is it's better in my opinion to describe suppose without using the word suppose. Again just my opinion.
Re: a comment on Fugitively Speaking by Dovina	19-Aug-04/10:51 AM
It's nice to be thought nice while cursed. Thanks, Wil.
Re: a comment on Q For Some Reason by MacFrantic	18-Aug-04/4:41 PM
cabernet savenoign. My spell checker's broke and my head itches, guess I'll scratch
Re: My Pain For You by Enchantres	18-Aug-04/4:35 PM
Not a single English error that I can see. Wish I could do as well in another language. A good message for poetry and probably comes through as such in your native tongue. English is a clumbsy thing.
Re: a comment on Friends by Dovina	18-Aug-04/4:22 PM
Thanks, I'm enchanted.
Re: a comment on Friends by Dovina	18-Aug-04/4:21 PM
I should have known the phallic nature of asparagus. Ireland has made me a consumate toast appreciator. Cheers with merlot.
Re: If time can not persuade, then one must goad. by SupremeDreamer	17-Aug-04/7:13 PM
You’ve got some complicated wording here. Maybe it’s a first draft, a verbose spilling. Some stuff could be cut/simplified to a better result, unless you have some underhanded urge to confuse. Sometimes I like to get a draft done, post it, keep my mind off it for a day then go back to it and revise. I’m more critical and less attached that way. Ever feel like you haven't quite hit the mark you were shootin for? And the more you mess with a poem the more you see it cripple-like and dwarfed? Sometimes my poems get better in form as I tweak them, but worse in spirit, the law of sacrifice, or the law of political trading. Your poem has good lines and good images, but I have trouble following it.
Re: The Downfall of a Pagan Man by somemorepoetry	17-Aug-04/6:49 PM
I really like the analogies to a river, "like rivers flow downstream and fatten out at the mouth," for example. A long poem, flows well, interseting, but many will not take the time.
Re: Your Beautiful Silence by Enchantres	17-Aug-04/6:15 PM
I counted four spelling and grammar mistakes in the first verse. Yes, I'm a prude. But I also look at content and see a lot here, especially in the last two lines.