Re: i hung that page to dry by FreeFormFixation	25-Oct-05/7:28 AM
speak for the spoken silence - maybe leave out spoken. fall to the floor as ash - maybe leave out fall.
Re: hoppy by calliope	25-Oct-05/7:24 AM
Yes. Eat, drink and be merry, make love, for tomorrow you die. There, is hope.
Re: a comment on Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina) by zodiac	25-Oct-05/7:13 AM
Please retract that! The planet cannot handle such evolutionary goals.
Re: a comment on Eternity by Dovina	25-Oct-05/7:08 AM
Yes I will say “But that’s the whole point.” See my comment to Alchemy. If you say “Exactly,” you are simply disagreeing with the Christian position that “To die is gain.” It’s alright to disagree, but please try to understand this dying woman’s position.
Re: a comment on Eternity by Dovina	25-Oct-05/7:08 AM
I did write in MS Word, but I wanted the capitals as a kind of Biblical parallel. "But the opposite is true" refers to the line directly above it. You say BOO because it seems contradictory. But for a Christian, a dying body is good because it brings her nearer to her God. “To be absent from the body is to be present with God.”
Re: Take Heart Mr. Drake, the Worst is Behind You by wilco	24-Oct-05/8:09 PM
Some good lines here, but as a song, and even as a poem, I think it needs a more direct approach, the form of a balad, where the story builds and the rhythm carries it.
Re: a comment on Eternity by Dovina	24-Oct-05/8:04 PM
The last half kills it for you either because you find it bad writing or because you do not accept what it says, or both. Much of my writing is trying to express what other people think. While my own beliefs and thoughts inevitably seep in, this one is what I think she really wanted to say. Admittedly, the first half is light hearted and half joking, while the second half is Christian belief. You probably like the joking part and object to the belief.
Re: fox and hounds by nentwined	24-Oct-05/1:04 PM
Uncanny, the similarities with "Eclipse" But you have a baboon.
Re: a comment on Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina) by zodiac	24-Oct-05/12:48 PM
I shall never become "fixed" or taught, save for taut tied tubes perhaps to save the planet.
Re: a comment on Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina) by zodiac	24-Oct-05/12:45 PM
Well that's perfectly clear. A pair of rogue homebodies snuggled up in Muslim Alaska. Or so my magic wand would have it. Happy Ramadan.
Re: a comment on Marriage by Dovina	23-Oct-05/6:57 AM
And what I get is worth the price.
Re: a comment on Slim and Pretty, Or Not by Dovina	23-Oct-05/6:55 AM
yeah, ok.
Re: a comment on Slim and Pretty, Or Not by Dovina	23-Oct-05/6:54 AM
A good looking man with a bad heart will prefer farsighted women. Not saying you are he, but as a metaphor, it could work that way.
Re: A LOVER’S TORMENT by anushree	22-Oct-05/11:22 AM
amost of the rhymes seem forced. Still it's a good sentiment.
Re: LIFELINE by outofdarkness138	22-Oct-05/11:20 AM
When a dying person realizes the futility and knows the person he's crying out to wants to help but there's nothing she can do, then you are near the end. Well said, if that's what you mean. Leave out "thee" though.
Re: A SURREAL DEPREDATION! by anushree	22-Oct-05/11:14 AM
The ...... is only distracting. Typo in line 6. Some good lines here, but what are you saying?
Re: a comment on Slim and Pretty, Or Not by Dovina	22-Oct-05/11:00 AM
A match for me? A nearsighted man? Sold!
Re: a comment on Slim and Pretty, Or Not by Dovina	22-Oct-05/10:58 AM
A severely nearsighted man will not even notice if I am fat (which I am not), he will see only my eyes and anything else he gets close to. But I meant it more metaphorically, as seeing my character. I admit it's like a string of maxims, and a bit didactic. Do you see a market in the keychain business?
Re: a comment on Marriage by Dovina	21-Oct-05/11:27 AM
Good night, and sleep committed, romantic, and poetic.
Re: The nymph steals the farm-son by <~>	21-Oct-05/11:22 AM
"phantoms of future turn wooden on the lathe of fact." !!!