| regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Oct-08/11:49 AM |
|
The facetious last word is great with pretty Pleasantville, bloody and impaled on a white picket fence.
|
|
|
 |
| Re: WHAT PEOPLE DO by OMOMOMOM |
1-Nov-08/3:17 PM |
|
The first 4 lines open a fine stage to play on. The last 2 lines wrap it up just fine. But whatever falls between needs some major tuning.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Phoenix by Celticai |
1-Nov-08/3:20 PM |
|
Your rebirth is waiting on a lone mountain trail where wanderers like us go to flush the plaque from our arteries and the smoke from our brains. Try it.
|
|
|
|
| Re: One of the guys by hobojo |
1-Nov-08/3:27 PM |
|
This leaves me wondering about several things, and not getting it. Tell me what is wrong with falling in love with a friend, one of the guys or not. Was he really a friend if he did this? What kind of judge of character are you?
|
|
|
|
| Re: Fine Line by sliver |
12-Nov-08/1:57 PM |
|
Well put. We get pulled back to mama's knee and mama's beliefs, like a magnet too strong for reason.
|
|
|
|
| Re: i will if i want to by malpaso |
12-Nov-08/1:57 PM |
|
|
|
| Re: Anorexia is good for the soul by hobojo |
12-Nov-08/1:59 PM |
|
Well not quite. Relate it to a mood or a rash, not to anorexia - that's a disease
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Nov-08/2:02 PM |
|
[\!syntactical brine is fine !\] ;)
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Nov-08/4:48 PM |
Strange! Love as a choice or a science seems incongruous with romantic notions. Are poets or is love to become an oddity? Maybe both. Maybe when love is a choice or science.
Homography of the soul, perhaps where certain points coincide, seems a better kind, where nature of humans and nurture reconcile.
I made me think, maybe not as you think, but think, and that makes it good
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Nov-08/5:15 PM |
|
If this is about driving across Nevada then it's hilarious in making that doldrum look exciting. But if it's about running, as the last line implies, with coke and coffee breaks then it's about a crazy person.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
18-Nov-08/5:20 PM |
|
Line 2 could lose some words I think. Blacks are no more free than before the election, whites are no more choking, and green money is leaking out of pockets, but I like it anyway.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
23-Nov-08/5:28 PM |
|
Nice flow, far cry from the nuke days
|
|
|
|
| Re: Flood Land, East Kentucky by zodiac |
16-Dec-08/5:15 PM |
|
|
|
| Re: To Poets Whose Writing is Fecal. by SupremeDreamer |
5-Jan-09/5:07 PM |
|
I write bad poetry and procrastinate my death. Yawn.
|
|
|
|
| Re: the invisible beauty by Prince of Void |
5-Jan-09/5:14 PM |
|
Thank you, I take it personally behind my fake face, for there I am beautiful
|
|
|
|
| Re: Back to reality by Prince of Void |
5-Jan-09/5:17 PM |
|
Swimming to the end of the ocean is a great way to go. Like riding a bicycle day after day until . . .
|
|
|
|
| Re: Snorting the Cosmic Dust. by DreamerSupreme |
5-Jan-09/5:27 PM |
Like it even though it preaches like the preacher it condemns.
âJesus saw redemption . . . suicide or the cleansing of sinâ interesting line
âKeep thy eyes forwardâ Thatâs âthineâ but mixing vintage is a sin
|
|
|
|
| Re: Gladly For Love by sliver |
5-Jan-09/5:51 PM |
|
I figured it a love letter to someone you know and was about to suggest handwriting and sending, until the last verse.
|
|
|
|
| Re: The flute sound makes me blue by Prince of Void |
21-Jan-09/3:57 PM |
|
blue somber flute, bright bird-like flute. I like baroque flute best. breathy and down - flute. nice
|
|
|
|
| Re: The PROJECT by Sigh'ense... |
21-Jan-09/3:59 PM |
|
Down where I don't live, but can feel it, nicely done
|
|
|
|
