regarding some deleted poem...	11-Jan-07/11:20 AM
Either omit all punctuation or use it consistently. "I worship of thee" needs to lose the "of" (Obsenities deleted)
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Jan-07/11:36 AM
Please forgive Stephen Robins; he’s an embarrassment sometimes. We keep him on for smirks and the occasional witty obscenity. Your poem carries a tender and sad message. “He ambles into memories” is good. but most of it is overwrought, or cliché, or over-simplified, for my taste at least. Consider removing or rephrasing these: stares into oblivion feels her love still in a world of shadows Where no sun can shine
Re: Bullet Heaven by MacFrantic	11-Jan-07/11:44 AM
Rhythm is pretty constant until the last 3 lines, rhyme too. Why quit now?
regarding some deleted poem...	11-Jan-07/8:32 PM
Welcome back. This is interesting and too much for a tired head. I'll get back to it tomorrow. BTW, Alchemy and Zodiac have gone missing. I'll give you a temporary 8 just for "ginger sprinkled orchid."
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Jan-07/11:32 AM
Describing the colors and hues works well, until line 4 where show turns to tell. Also “knowing” detracts, at least for me, from the word-painting to match the real painting. And “succulent” seems to tell us too much about the answer. “precision caresses skin/ Flesh scent intoxicates breezes” – good.
Re: Same old rancour (a yellow stream of consciousness) by ecargo	13-Jan-07/12:42 PM
Yes, again! Another toast, another round. Ain't it fun? lol
Re: Fury by wilco	15-Jan-07/7:32 PM
It’s the kind of exposition and soap-boxing I’ve been blasted for these several years, and the kind of thing I still get all gushy about. But “irony of fate is lost” – is too nebulous even for me. Good otherwise.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jan-07/7:42 PM
"Touched" is an interesting word. It can also mean crazy. If used so more than on possible meaning attaches, interest in the poem rises. Here, it's just showing two of the meanings without that connection.
Re: I heart you by thetrev	16-Jan-07/11:26 AM
Would be better withoiut the "There"'s. i.e., "Magnetic words on the fridge"
Re: If she thinks if she believes by Prince of Void	16-Jan-07/11:29 AM
I think you mean "then" in Line 3, not "so". Even so, it's unnecessarily tied up in "if"'s.
Re: Pointless by fadedlove	16-Jan-07/2:39 PM
These personal diatribes seldom work as poems. "Play the red card, walk away" is what we do when no other reason for refusing sex comes immediatly to mind.
Re: The man who loved Lennon by Caducus	16-Jan-07/2:50 PM
The musical undertones work ok, starting with Lennon (presume John Lennon). But for David to express his love with shillings to buy plectrums (very inexpensive) seems weak. Maybe it’s why she walked away. Bringing back the bass voice in her heels is good. Some facts about this I’m not up to speed on.
Re: Stripping the willow by ecargo	17-Jan-07/7:55 PM
“Pound your swords into plowshares,” your spears into sickles, which do burn more naturally in the hands. Strange, using the British spelling of plow. Suggest “murmuring” replace the obscure “sough.” Suggest conventional sentence structure in the last one, as done in the others.
Re: Give it up Max by Stephen Robins	19-Jan-07/8:53 AM
His behavior’s not ace Nor is his face He tugged on my muff But it’s sturdy enough What’s amazing to me Is he can’t find his 3.
Re: The road to my Saturday by Enkidu	20-Jan-07/3:57 PM
A pretty dismal prospect, this. And why be so sure the road is damned? Oh, they all are - ok. But what about Sunday? Really, this is quite unclear to me.
Re: Body Worlds by Dental Panic	20-Jan-07/4:15 PM
It’s not possible to leave out 200 words, maybe one though – “well.” I had to look up Plastination, and will save the rest of you dummies the trouble: http://app1.chinadaily.com.cn/star/2001/0913/fe19-1.html An interesting process, and a good poem.
Re: a voice poem by richa	22-Jan-07/4:31 PM
I had to read it several times, where a few commas would have helped, and think such beginnings turn away readers, should it be one of the first of yours they read.
Re: It was a dream within a dream by Prince of Void	23-Jan-07/4:45 PM
Just checking; this really is another post.
Re: It was a dream within a dream by Prince of Void	23-Jan-07/7:17 PM
Am I dreaming or did you crash the wall, slither through the defenses, and post this twice, just nine minutes apart? Please tell me your secret.
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Jan-07/7:35 PM
It's better in this edit. Line 5 uses an archaic pronoun referring to "ship", to say in essence "ship's ship," unless the pronoun refers to "hands," and that's no better. You're getting closer.