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If she thinks if she believes (Other) by Prince of Void If she thinks if she believes
My love is based on lies
Even so she will leave me
then all my dreams're melting away
Who knows what will happen
After thousand times
After thousand years
Iâm crying it out to all heavens
But she is still lost in my arms
But she is still the beloved in my heart
How can I be without her?
How many dawns I should see without her
How many tears can show my despairs?
To the madding crowd of this hell
They make me down to the void
If the void stays on
If she never comes back again
If the dream doesnât meet tomorrow
I? I will be the worst void
Maybe in some age
To come to see her again
Where I wonât meet the sky alone
When the battle is won
Here in my heart
Here in my soul
From here to the eternity of love
Then the delight will be reborn
The ray will go beyond The Ocean of chaos and void
Up the ladder:
The Cold
Down the ladder:
Weekender
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 2.5
Posted: January 15, 2007 7:24 AM PST; Last modified: January 18, 2007 8:03 AM PSTWeighted score: 4.8814354 Overall Rank: 10015 Comments:
[6]
Dovina @ 75.82.85.162
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16-Jan-07/11:29 AM
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Reply
I think you mean "then" in Line 3, not "so". Even so, it's unnecessarily tied up in "if"'s.
[n/a]
Prince of Void @ 213.207.253.32
> Dovina
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18-Jan-07/10:02 AM
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Reply
thank u for helping me ....
I think you're too focused on Writing a Poeme instead of just honestly and simply writing. That's how pimple poems erupt. Cut it down. Give details. Name names. Point fingers--artfully. Even just simplifying this would give it more impact:
If she thinks My love is based on lies She'll leave. My dreams will melt away. Not great, but better, I think. What do you know about her? What should we know? Sometimes just turning the focus away from you helps. Keep going! 169 view(s)
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