regarding some deleted poem...	23-Jan-07/7:38 PM
Again, it's not what you are saying that lacks poetic appeal, but mistaken structure. Compassion is from the one kneeling down, not the bird. I know you meant that, but it's not what the poem says.
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Jan-07/7:44 PM
Hate-Bush-Poems are especailly tedious, and more so where they offer no solution, as with this.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Jan-07/10:30 AM
S4 I like. It sets the stage for a second reading, and could better be S1, I think. A more descript title might help too. Overall, I followed it, or think I did, and like the concept.
Re: Controlled Euthanasia by Dovina	25-Jan-07/1:47 PM
Dovina: Inspired by “One in Ten Thousand,” Athena Workman, GUD. Just click at your left.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jan-07/2:49 PM
Yes, the last line is bit of a letdown. Best, I think, to conclude this nicely descriptive piece with something like "brushed with finely toxic salt" You can probably think of something better.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jan-07/9:43 PM
Lose the space after "heart." I was in the oldgrowth redwood forest this summer watching them grow from the bodies of the fallen. A great analogy.
Re: Out of this crowd a mistress or a friend by Prince of Void	31-Jan-07/9:48 PM
I thought life was ok; now I'm depressed. Thanks, even the cold rain outside will feel better.
Re: Drowning by wilco	2-Feb-07/1:30 PM
Yeah, I get the first line - probably not the way you get it, but doesn't matter. Same for last line of S3. You've got some way to go before you get over saying the first line of S6.
Re: Stopped Cold by coldiron	6-Feb-07/11:22 AM
You can, and may have, walked his paths: http://travel.sulekha.com/hampshire/sites.aspx He’s one of the few poets who never fool around, never stick in a silly piece out of boredom, and almost always say at least two worthwhile truths in every line. His writing is dark, or dour as you say, if you wish to see it darkly, or not see the light. I hope only to approach his weight and buoyancy, two forces acting oppositely, where a small nudge makes all the difference. Good reflection.
Re: City Beat by Quarton	6-Feb-07/11:30 AM
"so" say your prayers. "sycophant"? A good beat and good rhymes, doesn't seem forced.
Re: Tea,One Night Stands and Smores by Bethy	6-Feb-07/11:36 AM
A good moving story. Tense conflict - might be best to make it all present tense, but you could just eliminate the few out-of-past-tense verbs. Also, quote marks are inconsistent - I'd use them on all quotes. And spacing - yes, a space after every comma. I like it though.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Feb-07/7:17 PM
Try applying here: http://poemranker.com/suggestion-browse.jsp?id=149569
Re: A Cautionary Tale by Tman	8-Feb-07/7:23 PM
What is the "either of sleep"?
Re: Out alone in the winter rain by Prince of Void	8-Feb-07/7:26 PM
Just a minor suggested revision: Out alone in the winter rain Happiness is high there, sky is up I remember those tears of joy had hidden Behind drops of rain I’m still singing in the rain And all memories flow upward Inside consuming bliss. Cheers
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Feb-07/10:41 AM
Good flow and driving story. No diversions – that’s good. “This is wrong” – a line that might be self-questioning, especially with your “moralistic” comment, but could mean just “ineffective methods.” It’s good to leave that open. Well done.
Re: The Medium of Dunce by Ranger	12-Feb-07/6:18 PM
I stumbled over the “Not” in line 4. Omitting it makes a better read for me, but you probably have something else in mind, perhaps that she doesn’t understand the visions in the glass, but can only speak them. Also, the semicolons distract, and would better become commas for this reader. I love line 2 = 8. Well crafted.
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Feb-07/9:14 AM
Here we have the sensible view of a practical man, where distinctions between thoughts and things, present and absent, knower and object, are all fixed and obvious from common sense. He knows the difference between real and imaginary, genuine knowledge and mere opinion. But would not such a man consider the 3 he mistakenly adorned on a “non-poem” and change it to the deserved 0 by now? Or is non-admission of mistaken impulse contained in what lesser life doesn’t understand?
Re: To my Valentine by Lola	14-Feb-07/9:17 AM
Very touching, you two, but hardly of general interest. Enjoy your love.
Re: Yet more woe by Stephen Robins	14-Feb-07/9:36 AM
Nothing compounds the shame of having erupted from ordinary gay teacherhood into temporary statutory rape more than the condescending cooing of a delightfully plump cockney poeme. As you lick your fingers, a poor man on his way to an important assignation, you must find a way of cleansing your trousers whilst bewailing lack of moral rectitude and vowing never again to take the short cut through shambles where the temptation of speedy relief from a brazen young wench is all too enticing. 10 (parody? - yes)
Re: Topography by MacFrantic	14-Feb-07/9:39 AM
"Beauty belongs in the distraction" Nice line.