you rendered me speechless...

well done.. i like the meaning of it, too.

All the words seem to fall into their places nicely.. -9-

you know how to play with your words here...

i have a penchant for mythology... so, this one got in my good book... not to mention, it was smoothly done... as most of your other works...

don't really feel the words.. but the way you write is good. keep writing.

I'm not sure why you used 'he' in stanza two when all throughout you used 'i'. (?)

I especially like the last verse.. Good work here..

Absolutely beautiful.. Good job on the rhyming, too... Keep on writing ok..

Good.. Struck a chord in me..

i like your style and depth. i mean.. your poems are beautiful and yet, still straight to the point.. keep it up..

p/s ever tried taking part in poetry competitions or getting your work published? i just think that efforts such as this should be immortalised in books.. (",)

Honestly, when I first skim through this.. I couldn't quite decipher what you are trying to say... but after reading it a couple of times.. it makes sense. bloody good.

This is very nice.. Don't change anything.

This poem is not THAT bad, really...

For one long poem.. This is bloody good.

I don't know what was wrong with Sasha and DA.
Whatever it is, just keep on writing.. based on your feelings or not. You can't please everybody but obviously, this one does it for me. (",)

Don't change anything.. I think it's already good.

I like.

I think the first line from the second stanza should be 'your'.. And the bit about 'Everyone knew that I was wrong'.. Well, shouldn't it be 'thought'? That's just what I think.. Don't change if you think you're right.. k..

neat.. but don't quite like the picture of the girl formed in my mind. she sounded so.. helpless. was that what you were trying to convey? i mean.. she couldn't live without the guy kinda thing?

I'm sorry about your dad.. You hold on and be strong for your father will need that kind of strength from his family.

wow..