Goad
replying on Holding on for Jesus by Everyone
17 Apr 2005, 10:53 AM
not necessarily, as someone who grew up in a fundamentalist home, I can imagine someone tatooing 666 somewhere obvious just to end all discussion for once and for all. Only when they accept you as irrevocably irredeemable will they shut the fuck up.
Exchange rate doesn't work. The 'exchange rate' exists and is altering rather than coming on the scene (I wait for the exchange rate). The light rewards fishes because they are bright rather than because they cause no harm. Other than that good. Nice to see a block of text.
Some spelling mistakes in the last few lines.
I have a friend who believes he is the same soul who fought in the Crusades as one of the Knights Templar, and later was a Great Plains inhabitant around 1300. So I began to think who I might have been, and came up with Dovina. I have no memory of her and find no reason to believe my soul is hers, but reading about her I a felt an attachment. Itâs a pleasant thought, thatâs about all I can say.
I love to get jiggy.
1)Their historical oppression is greater than my miniscule-by-comparison oppression. Their current oppression is not much different from mine in this particular case.
2) same answer.
3) I've said it from the beginneng, some of them do, and one one them did it to me.
4) What?
5) They don't make up for it in kind, but in much lesser kind.
I'm sorry, zodiac, but ignoring, not hiring, belittling, and skipping just don't quite cover it. It's a joke to even suggest they do.
well, I'm sorry if you find this poem so unoriginal but it just came in a rush of thoughts. and I don't exactly listen to the beatles no, I'm fifteen years old. thanks for taking the trouble to comment anyway : D
Not to be irrelevant, but I've always wondered what's the point of reincarnating if you don't remember your past lives. Do you think some people do? If not, how do you think a past self affects somebody's present self? If it doesn't (or doesn't much), isn't it pretty much the same thing as not being reincarnated?
Sorry, but this is the one-thousandth time this exact poem has been posted on poemranker. Or sung by the Beatles, for that matter. If you want to write about something original (and you should), why not write about somebody who DOES something?
You're really getting very good. The loose parts in the middle are made up for by that amazing last sentence.
I think "the death of fall" is misused - and didn't you just say it was spring? And didn't you skip a season? Also, "exchange" alone is better than "exchange rate" (which is too cute). And what's up with the end?
1) Yes, but the "vague" part isn't the point; the "past" part is. Racism, unequal opportunities, and so on ARE STILL GOING ON FOR ALMOST ALL BLACKS. AND YOU AND I ARE PART OF IT. If you disagree (and I'm not saying you will, it's just that I don't have enough computer time to wait for your response) it's probably because you live in California, which is currently more segregated than Alabama. If you agree, then why did you say "My kind abused your kind" and "My ancestors did it to your ancestors"? Why didn't you just say, "I and my kind still do it all the time to your kind"? (Incidentally, I think that would be a fine reason for blacks to kick whitey's ass.) Whatever you meant by it, "My ancestors did it to your ancestors" says white peoples' crimes were in the past and you weren't part of them. If you're going to say "My ancestors did it to your ancestors" is a historically accurate thing to say, that's not the point.
2) Oh, Jesus. You really think you were oppressed? In my village last year, a woman was actually stoned to death for charges of adultery. The accuser? The man she was sleeping with. Get real, honey. No black person or group of black people in America can REALLY oppress a white person or group of white people. You were hurt, yes, but get over it. And don't abuse words like 'oppression' to mean some guy dissing you for a little while.
3) I've said since the beginning, no black person in his right mind would consider it. Congratulations. Now you're racist because of one lunatic.
4) No, you just told black people to ignore you, not hire you, belittle you in their verse, and skip over you at readings. For the millionth time: they don't need you to tell them. Telling them says that you have the authority to tell them, which you don't.
5) Do you understand that if black people for some unimaginable reason really wanted to make up for past wrongs, it would involve putting you naked on a GODDAMN BOAT, carting you slowly to Africa, and if you didn't die along the way laboring you to death while breeding you like a FUCKING SOW and separating you from your children and parents for YOUR ENTIRE LIFE, YOUR CHILDRENS' ENTIRE LIVES, YOUR GRANDCHILDREN AND GREAT-GRANDCHILDRENS' ENTIRE LIVES, and so on foreverandever amen? And that's just slavery. If they wanted to make up for the rest, they would put you in the SHITTIEST POSSIBLE EXCUSE for a school ever invented, deny you voting rights, adequate housing, adequate work and pay for your entire life, your children's entire lives, your grandchildren and great-grandchildren's entire lives. Then, when you were good and desperate, they would deny you justice, arrest you on the slightest provocation, and put you AND ONE-THIRD OF THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW in jail with double the sentence the oppressing class gets for the same crime.
I'm sorry, Dovina, but ignoring, not hiring, belittling, and skipping just don't quite cover it. It's a fucking joke to even suggest they do.
I think I get it. And i'm sure i like it. I see the innocence of childhood being reinterpreted into the freedom of adult nudity. Or something. Either way it took some bravery yo tag a cock line onto a the end of a worthy poem, and for that you deserve at least some respect. 9. PS Reminds me my own effort at freedom here: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.j sp?id=123481
I think the first phrase should have a question mark, and I also want to hear real colors of the "brightly colored fish" at the end (i.e. fuschia? chartreuse?) but wholly I'm lovin' this. 9.4
Boy I know that feeling. You should've seen me fuss over a war/freight train poem. I fed it to the fireplace. In the meantime, welcome back, and the current state of this writ has me feeling a bit exhausted. I think that is what you were going for.
For that comment, I wish to smack you with a double headed yucca. That was very UN- dovina like. Cad. It's very good and deserves marks . (I'm feeling bitchy, can you tell?)
I didn't like -azure-. otherwise, it raged like king kong.
Semi-queasy son-not.
(sees the hitchhiker and goes for the next gear up.)
I can't bite at the moment, I'm liking the current.