Re: Dreams by lil_evil_boi	some deleted user 70.68.76.244	7-Jun-05/8:05 PM
Perhaps consider 'Peace And War'? And what kind of "discussion" are you talking about? By the way, this is like another one of your successful masterpieces. Nice.
Re: Dreams by lil_evil_boi	lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244	7-Jun-05/8:02 PM
Hopefully this poem wont cause another "discussion" again. Anyways, I dont really think the title is suitable for the poem so I need some ideas. Thanks~
Re: a comment on Snow by lil_evil_boi	sacred_poet_me 70.68.76.244	7-Jun-05/7:52 PM
So, what if I like his poems? It's so good that I'm speechless after I've done reading. So I dont think you should judge other people's comments just because they really like someone's poems. And by the way, I dont even know who lil_evil_boi in real life is. I wasnt trying to make him look good at all. I truly liked his poem.
Re: a comment on Best Friends by lil_evil_boi	lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244	7-Jun-05/7:48 PM
Thanks once again. You ahve been VERY supportive.
Re: Snow by lil_evil_boi	lil_evil_boi 70.68.76.244	7-Jun-05/7:43 PM
I absolutely didnt know about the 'Faith' poem in the Bible until numerous poeple bagan to discuss about this so called "plagiarized quote". And I'm not bluffing. This quote, or verse, derived from my father. When I was small, he used to always remind me of this verse. And tells me that the three most important qualities of a human are faith, confidence, and honesty. Also at that point all of the family members, including me, were atheists. We had no clue that this quote may be from some other text. As for where my father got this quote, he never told me. If this clarifies some of the disagreements and wonders, it's my pleasure to explain to the readers. Hopefuly this'll clear things up. Thanks. PS(If you still think that I plagiarized this verse from the bible, and the whole story is just an excuse, I have nothing to say. Go ahead and believe what you think. I've shared the whole story related to this verse and if this didnt help, sorry.)
Re: on my hog by nentwined	Dovina 69.175.32.185	7-Jun-05/7:16 PM
Rocks only sit on pavement when seven beats are needed in the second line of a haiku. Otherwise they are just on pavement, which sounds better. Damn forms.
Re: a comment on -750,000 in Rwanda by ALChemy	Dovina 69.175.32.185	7-Jun-05/7:02 PM
Try it. You can always delete your comment by clicking the little red x.
Re: a comment on -750,000 in Rwanda by ALChemy	Dovina 69.175.32.185	7-Jun-05/6:59 PM
I assume you are talking to me, but it's hard to know. If you will click on "reply" under a comment, then your response will be placed like mine is here under your comment.
Re: -750,000 in Rwanda by ALChemy	ALChemy 65.188.92.49	7-Jun-05/6:52 PM
I think you might be right about the last verse. It was a bad Idea to drop pop culture into this and the shame on you message is redundant. The second verse was intended to point out the rest of the worlds ignorance to what was going on but I think I can change the last part a little to add to my point. But I'll have to work on that later.
Re: -750,000 in Rwanda by ALChemy	Dovina 69.175.32.185	7-Jun-05/5:45 PM
Very good up to the last verse. I'd end it with "Kids are easy to kill." When you get preachy, it loses a lot of force.
Re: Chthonic Steppenwolf by SupremeDreamer	Dovina 69.175.32.185	7-Jun-05/5:41 PM
Good, but words like mordant, cicatrize and chthonic are off-putting when familiar words will do. "Child spirit ripped apart, splayed across the rocks of time" - good line
Re: As the Flowers Bloom by nothingtoanyone	Dovina 69.175.32.185	7-Jun-05/5:30 PM
Are you a drone in love with a female worker. They have no interest in the likes of you as they bring home the nectar while you loaf about the hive.
Re: Amphetamine Witches & Scrabble by Bachus	darby pyn 207.200.116.130	7-Jun-05/4:20 PM
I love this poem, rant. you have great sarcasm.
Re: a comment on As the Flowers Bloom by nothingtoanyone	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	7-Jun-05/4:16 PM
That was then. I've matured since. Still good for a *7*
Re: -750,000 in Rwanda by ALChemy	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	7-Jun-05/4:02 PM
If you still don't understand why your 'Red Alert' was chopped, Dan GB, then take a look at this. It reads well, it's emotionally involved without getting squishy, it's what you can call a hard-hitter. But poems like these are not without risk: in losing objectivity. I would say that too much objectivity was Dan's specific problem. So it's a walk on the knife edge, or however the saying goes. The last stanza is a bit too moralistic to my taste. Or rather; the images represent a (predictable) stereotype.
Re: -750,000 in Rwanda by ALChemy	SupremeDreamer 67.150.50.219	7-Jun-05/3:58 PM
You'd be better off without these parts methinks-- tad pimpled and cliched bits: "But in the air the song still hangs and justice floats away in floods of blood. Making rivers out of streets" & "Ask yourself. What should we do? What should be done? Or be like the rest and say fuck CNN. and turn Baywatch back on." That aside, here's a seven.
Re: a comment on The Comedy of Mighty Rockmage: Combatting Old Age. by Don-Quixote	SupremeDreamer 67.150.50.219	7-Jun-05/3:51 PM
My repost was simply done in order to fix the single flaw in my use of old speak that zodiac pointed out. Hostility has nothing to do with it, my lil slothful Miggletoe.
Re: Amalgam - 7th iteration by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	7-Jun-05/3:45 PM
Strong ending. I would delete 'glowing' and try to find a substitute for the glowing in 'algae'
Re: The Comedy of Mighty Rockmage: Combatting Old Age. by Don-Quixote	ALChemy 65.188.92.49	7-Jun-05/3:44 PM
You'd think you would have vented all your hostility in your poetry but your cup overflows don't it. This guy must be the thorn in your side. Here's a band-aid -10-
Re: a comment on The Comedy of Mighty Rockmage: Combatting Old Age. by Don-Quixote	SupremeDreamer 67.150.56.14	7-Jun-05/2:40 PM
Then I shall replace that bit with "taking pains to appear humble!" and claim the apex of oldey speech as me wicked trophy!!