Re: a comment on Unclean by Dovina	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	16-Jun-05/4:40 PM
Not incorrect phrasing; incorrect quoting. Like that even more.
Re: a comment on Between the Edges by woodstock20000	woodstock20000 209.40.29.18	16-Jun-05/4:40 PM
Awwww. Thanks... From what I can tell, you're opinion is held very highly here, so I consider your... word, a great complement.
Re: A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	16-Jun-05/4:36 PM
Brackets are irritating, last two lines are delightful.
Re: a comment on Unclean by Dovina	some deleted user 81.69.23.196	16-Jun-05/4:32 PM
'for Allah's good' may be an incorrect phrasing, but that's exactly why I like it. Keep it in please.
Re: a comment on Unclean by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.185	16-Jun-05/3:39 PM
Please see zodiac’s explanation below on how different Islamic culture is from Mohammed’s teaching. We are dealing with a male-centered society where women are dirt! I have looked at your suggested line edits and, while I find no overt grammatical errors or ugly structure, your opinion on this is as good as mine. Your changes would simplify the reading, making it more like an essay, less like a poem. Your point about trying to make Allah better by casting the woman out would be a good point if that were what I meant. (It’s the same point zodiac makes below.) The fact that both of you took it that way means that I might want to rephrase. Surely, the husband did not think Allah needs improvement. He probably thought that anything done to respect or adore Allah would be a good thing – “for Allah’s good.” I think I’ll change the last line to “to cast her out in Allah’s name.” A interesting thing about both Islam and Christianity is that the founder’s teachings have little impact the practices of those religions. Some of the churches are beginning to see that Jesus’ teachings actually have value as they are written, and some of the Islamic teachers are beginning to do the same with Mohammed’s words.
Re: a comment on Sisyphus' wife by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.129.180.150	16-Jun-05/1:42 PM
bitches is the right word. More than one bitch in this brew. maybe bitches'?
Re: Between the Edges by woodstock20000	Dovina 69.175.32.185	16-Jun-05/12:47 PM
Good!
Re: Impeccable mess by sk8rs_rule_all	Dovina 69.175.32.185	16-Jun-05/12:44 PM
"impeccable mess" says a lot. The rest of the poem wanders.
Re: Sisyphus' wife by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	Dovina 69.175.32.185	16-Jun-05/12:36 PM
The first verse makes a clever point, but could do so in half the words. Lines 3-5 are almost repeats. Verse 2 is good up to "tryingto" and "bitches (bitch's) brew"
Re: a comment on Unclean by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.185	16-Jun-05/12:08 PM
Again, thanks for the comment. I am changing the “robbers” line; see above comments.
Re: a comment on Unclean by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.185	16-Jun-05/12:07 PM
Although the story was told as true, I suspect that the teller may have exaggerated the part about making her look like she’s been robbed. I think, from what you say and what I have read about Islamic societies, (and I’m talking about strict Islam like it was in Afghanistan before the war), that the robbed-woman image would not pass. I’ll change the poem to have her wounded as if from an accident of some kind. I don’t know why you laugh at “disgrace” in Stanza 2. Humiliation and a feeling of being disgraced are usual parts of rape-trauma. I was pointing out that for this woman those feelings are a far lesser concern that her husband’s discovery that she’d been raped. See my answer above for "cast her out for Allah's good"
Re: When the muse calls. by darby pyn	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.129.180.150	16-Jun-05/11:58 AM
inhibitions instead of inabitions.. because inabitions is not a word. a great word instead of inabitions would be inanitions. inanitions means exhaustion, as from lack of nourishment or vitality. This would make the next line about starving flow.
Re: a comment on Eulogy for a Poet by Dovina	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.129.180.150	16-Jun-05/11:52 AM
sorry.. just meant that I like those lines.
Re: a comment on Sisyphus' wife by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.129.180.150	16-Jun-05/11:49 AM
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/apostro.asp Thank you good sir. It does require an additional s.
Re: a comment on Eulogy for a Poet by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.185	16-Jun-05/11:25 AM
Yep, that's what it says.
Re: a comment on Swoon by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.185	16-Jun-05/11:24 AM
Thanks for the comments and for taking a suggestion on commenting more.
Re: Eulogy for a Poet by Dovina	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.129.180.150	16-Jun-05/11:24 AM
Frost in his belly fire in his heart
Re: I AM WHO I AM by blackthoughtz1	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.129.180.150	16-Jun-05/10:59 AM
paradigm best explains you? A pattern or model best explains you? huh.. strange. then you say you are outside of the box. cognitively dissonant. hmm.
Re: Don't be gay by wCUNTw	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.129.180.150	16-Jun-05/10:54 AM
it rhymes, so it must be true.
Re: quick by <~>	Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.221	16-Jun-05/8:50 AM
A bit o' depression, eh?