Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

Sisyphus' wife (Free verse) by Bankrupt_Word_Clerk
You made it clear that My ego is a donkey that is riding me with feelings contaminated with a tragic and swelling pride of vision dimming to the point I can't even see myself through the layers of ego billowing about me like pea soup fog in the Tule basin north of Fresno. and now You stand there wishing that I would color myself disappeared, yet I remain in front of you, gloriously wide and grinning the toothy grin of a man that is either nauseous or unconscious You dress yourself today in the victim's jewelry peeking through your fingers to see if I am tryingto guess which side of the bitches brew you are on.

Up the ladder: Pinhole
Down the ladder: Drowsy

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00

Arithmetic Mean: 5.4
Weighted score: 5.0476813
Overall Rank: 6869
Posted: June 16, 2005 1:30 AM PDT; Last modified: June 16, 2005 1:30 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[5] deleted user @ 81.69.23.196 | 16-Jun-05/4:13 AM | Reply
Shouldn't that be Sisyphus's Wife? If not, my 'Doris's off-day' needs a title revision...
This poem? Totally incomprehensive to me.
[n/a] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk @ 71.129.180.150 > deleted user | 16-Jun-05/11:49 AM | Reply
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/apostro.asp

Thank you good sir. It does require an additional s.
[7] Dovina @ 69.175.32.185 | 16-Jun-05/12:36 PM | Reply
The first verse makes a clever point, but could do so in half the words. Lines 3-5 are almost repeats.

Verse 2 is good up to "tryingto" and "bitches (bitch's) brew"
[n/a] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk @ 71.129.180.150 > Dovina | 16-Jun-05/1:42 PM | Reply
bitches is the right word. More than one bitch in this brew. maybe bitches'?
[n/a] zodiac @ 212.118.16.50 > Bankrupt_Word_Clerk | 18-Jun-05/2:05 AM | Reply
In case you were wondering and couldn't be bothered to check Miles Davis called the famous recording sessions Bitches Brew without an apostrophe. I'd say bitches' brew if I were you.
[n/a] Bankrupt_Word_Clerk @ 71.129.182.174 > zodiac | 18-Jun-05/12:33 PM | Reply
That is precisely where I got those words... Miles Davis.
[n/a] zodiac @ 213.186.177.137 > Bankrupt_Word_Clerk | 19-Jun-05/4:50 AM | Reply
Yes. You still want the apostrophe after the s.
233 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001