Re: a comment on Twilight on the Roadside by ALChemy	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	24-Jul-05/10:59 AM
Thanks. I couldn't get to fancy with the poetry for fear of overshadowing the story's validity. Which by the way it is all true. "Desaturated" was used in the sense of color desturation. Less vivid like diluted paint. Just trust me desaturated works. You're probably right about "I was" in verse 3. I don't really think "(That image burned into my heart)" tells you how I feel so much as tells you that I can't forget it. That image could be in my heart because I felt sad or horrified or confused or all the above. You touched on a lot of issues I had myself about this poem. Mainly I wanted to just get the story and the message out there and this was what I came up with. Once again thank you Dovina. You made some excellent points.
Re: A thank you note(Not a poem at all) by thepinkbunnyofdoom	T. Jonathron Remp 69.151.11.174	24-Jul-05/9:12 AM
You should have made it a poem, it would have been excellent!
Re: a comment on Stabbed with a Carrot by T. Jonathron Remp	T. Jonathron Remp 69.151.11.174	24-Jul-05/9:10 AM
Don't be so down on yourself, I'm sure that you are more than the effect of belief.
Re: Decoys and Disguises behind large-areas of smoke screens by Beyond_Dreams	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	24-Jul-05/8:46 AM
"Sucky,sucky. Five dolla. Me so horny. Me love you long time." You gotta love Kubrick.
Re: a comment on Noble oboe now sings every next saturday evening by ALChemy	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	24-Jul-05/8:34 AM
I'm pleased with your response. What is a Denken Weizen anyway?
Re: a comment on Dovecote by zodiac	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/7:01 AM
To be worth as much as a camel is a position I envy. It is giving, isn't it, that counts and that makes happy. If I live to give happiness, is not that the greatest worth?
Re: SO DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR LOVE by prettyktm	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:56 AM
What a line of bull!! I've heard it all before!!
Re: A thank you note(Not a poem at all) by thepinkbunnyofdoom	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:54 AM
Get over it!!!
Re: Cavern of Chaos by Nuit	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:45 AM
??? Chaos? What is it?
Re: Hindsight by darby pyn	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:43 AM
I don't think you 'stole' your father's eyes. You just emulated him for awhile. That much is ok, and a good thing to do. Now leave him alone like he says. I'd like to be my father. He was a great man!
Re: Stabbed with a Carrot by T. Jonathron Remp	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:38 AM
A bit like the 'words will never hurt me' nonsenense of a cliche. A carot can hurt if you think it can. I don't get how this is 'spiritually' true. I seems like just the effect of belief.
Re: Summer of Firsts by Miggy	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:32 AM
Beware! This looks too much like deception!
Re: Decoys and Disguises behind large-areas of smoke screens by Beyond_Dreams	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:30 AM
I'm happy you noticed me in my skirt 'too' short and ruge, not lipstick, on my cheeks. I really can't tell yesterday from today or tomorrow. You can have only one arm and graffitti on your feet, it doesn't matter if you love me. That's where most guys don<#t get it.
Re: Noble oboe now sings every next saturday evening by ALChemy	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:24 AM
I'm a little under a Denken Weizen at the moment, but are there realy meadows in Tuscany? I do like to board a starship with its bark and all, of willows and such wherever the memories lead.
Re: a comment on A Good Man Ruined by Dovina	Dovina 84.173.251.118	24-Jul-05/6:18 AM
It's the POV that's differnt. In the case of my poem, I know that he knows, and that he realizes he could only do good engineering under the umbrella of the Company, and incidently with the sexual stimulus of a certain draftswomen. My knowing that is what makes it so much like breasts against his hairy chest. Doesn't that ring with a major difference for you, or is it all about the bridges and stuff like that in your world?
Re: a comment on A Good Man Ruined by Dovina	zodiac 212.118.19.121	24-Jul-05/2:45 AM
I don't see how yours is different at all. Jimmy Buffet thinks it's a woman's fault but knows it's really his. Your character thinks it's a woman's fault but knows it's really his. What gives?
Re: Hindsight by darby pyn	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.133.246.232	23-Jul-05/7:03 PM
I read this once and hated it. I read it a second time and hated it. I just now read it again while listening to a song called Pathogenic Occular Dissonance and now feel like dying. two lines you should keep: "I stole my father's eyes to see" and "These are sad eyes I stare through" junk the rest and say something understandable.
Re: a comment on The sunset sea. by darby pyn	Bankrupt_Word_Clerk 71.133.246.232	23-Jul-05/6:57 PM
it's word choices like fallible remorse that are your weakness. I chose those two words, but there are many more that you just seem to put together without any real thought as to what it will do to your poetry. it just seems like you are in love with a vocabulary that is just out of your reach. I understand some of this poem. By that i mean some images come to mind, but why in the name of Gary do you not try to simplify, pare down, and beat some meter into your work. You really and truly could do this better with half the words. I read my own poetry. I know it's not very good. So, take what i say any way you'd like. BUT all your work is the same; too wordy by far. It's just not necessary. you are only cannibalized by insatiably hungry demons if you ARE a demon. are you a demon? cuz it would all make sense to me if you were.
Re: a comment on Plastic Ideals by Nuit	Nuit 86.128.208.251	23-Jul-05/2:03 AM
Thanx!
Re: a comment on SO DON'T GIVE UP ON YOUR LOVE by prettyktm	prettyktm 203.115.81.186	22-Jul-05/10:14 PM
THANK YOU,we all have our likes and dislike.thanks for your frank comment.