Re: a comment on Fading.+/ by Lindz14	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/10:52 AM
What balls! I'm impressed and I've got ones the size of watermellons. Besides that gave me my biggest laugh of the day.
Re: Chocolate Bunny by not_a_philosopher	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/10:38 AM
More like a fat nude black man and that white stuff coming out of his penis ain't piss my friend. Bon appétit.
Re: Fading.+/ by Lindz14	not_a_philosopher 205.188.116.139	19-Aug-05/10:34 AM
- wait - ? you favorited your own poem?
Re: Smells by the_poetess	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/10:32 AM
Kind of Martha Stewart meets Andy Rooney. But it has some good stuff too like the first verse.
Re: Playing The Vibes by impert&ent	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/10:26 AM
What do you mean by ropes "fuming?" around brass.
Re: Playing The Vibes by impert&ent	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/10:20 AM
God I wish I had a yacht. Sounds so relaxing. Then again with my luck I'd get lost or die in a storm. I liked the poem once I figured it out. Another title that might have changed the poems direction: At the Center of the Tsunami. But that's just plain evil isn't it. I think you mean "Plain" not "plane in verse 1. Plain is on the sea-bed. Plane is something you do on the surface as in hydroplane.
Re: a comment on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/10:00 AM
Thanks your absolutely right. I bet you see a lot of that though. Damn, I've got to stop posting poems when I'm half asleep.
Re: a comment on The burden of faith by Bobjim	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/9:50 AM
The Bible has been rewritten and butchered in the process by nearly every translation ever made. So you can certainly doubt everything except the spirit of the bible and still have faith in it.
Re: a comment on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	impert&ent 80.195.201.212	19-Aug-05/9:49 AM
It's compelling. Well done. But ditch those apostrophes unless you mean "by way of it is comand", and "whether it is end be near". The possessive needs no apostrophe. It has its own logic for that. It's not the usual logic.
Re: Little Orange Petal Flower by i_am_the_popsicle	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/9:41 AM
The poem sounds good and all but isn't the idea of a spirit that it doesn't die. That it just drifts off somewhere into eternity. Or did you mean spirit as in enthusiasm. Put Spirit in the place of all the little orange petal flower parts of the poem and you'll see the places where your spirit isn't like a little orange petal flower. Maintaining the metaphor is at the utmost importance in this poem for the point of the poem is the metaphor. Love the concrete like structural design of the poem.
Re: Yellow Leather Innards by PsydewaysTears	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/9:08 AM
All that Yellow leather repetition dilutes the poem. Why not mix it up with some different color leather. Other wise the poem's got some great rhythm and some good rhyme. Besides. No one does yellow leather like Uma Thurman in Kill Bill.
Re: a comment on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/8:55 AM
correction: I didn't catch THAT one on my proofread. Obviously I need to work on my proofreading.
Re: a comment on The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/8:53 AM
Thanks I didn't catch one on my proofread.
Re: The Story of Our Lives by woodstock20000	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/8:51 AM
Death is a semi-colon hmmm... Makes sense. I always thought he did things half-assed
Re: a comment on Take heart, you are closer than you know by Bobjim	Bobjim 143.167.132.19	19-Aug-05/8:32 AM
Thanks.
Re: Playing The Vibes by impert&ent	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.67	19-Aug-05/7:48 AM
it's resonating in my subconcious, but that is all at the moment.
Re: The Servant and The Messenger by ALChemy	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.67	19-Aug-05/7:37 AM
Aside from the rogue period at the end of the Unsheathed line, it sounds good to go.
Re: a comment on The Giant Verse by drnick	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/7:31 AM
correction: lose not loose
Re: The Giant Verse by drnick	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/7:30 AM
Loose "Beside a path of broken darts". It just sounds goofy. You have an engine that has some good parts but you need to assemble it better. Get your thoughts to connect with each other. Then rev that engine up. Last line should be "Rather HAVE left before he stayed."
Re: Take heart, you are closer than you know by Bobjim	ALChemy 65.188.89.69	19-Aug-05/7:07 AM
WAY FAY, WAY STY, SAY AY I. As an acrostic it sounds kinda cool in a nonsense way. I know it's not intended but your Microsoft Word program put caps at the begining of all your lines. So at first I thought you might be doing some kind of acrostic poem. Nice, warm, religious. Kind of like a spiritual.