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Little Orange Petal Flower (Free verse) by i_am_the_popsicle
My spirit is a little orange petal flower Orange petal flowers Bloom in Spring Thrive in Summer Fade in Autumn Die in Winter Little petal flowers in your hair are far more lovely than they are on the ground Little orange flowers in your room are far more romantic than they are on the ground Little orange petals Smell nice in Spring Look vibrant in Summer Ride the breeze in Autumn Shed tears in Winter And my spirit is a little orange petal flower

Up the ladder: jamaica
Down the ladder: Your Words

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.3333335
Weighted score: 4.9205313
Overall Rank: 9499
Posted: August 17, 2005 10:27 AM PDT; Last modified: August 17, 2005 10:27 AM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Bethy @ 24.222.32.168 | 17-Aug-05/11:43 AM | Reply
Nice...yet sad...:) Bethy
[n/a] i_am_the_popsicle @ 205.188.117.13 > Bethy | 17-Aug-05/11:45 AM | Reply
thankyou,
but tell me,
how is it sad?
[7] Bethy @ 24.222.32.211 | 17-Aug-05/12:01 PM | Reply
With the changing seasons, your spirit dies then is reborn...its sad, but then if we could all be little orange flowers...we could refresh ourselves seasonally and be new again...sounds good eh...lol :) :) Bethy
[6] drnick @ 24.176.15.223 | 18-Aug-05/1:55 AM | Reply
It reminds me of the seasonal-depression I expierience. The winter is horrible. The summer is awesome. You're poem is alright.
[n/a] ALChemy @ 65.188.89.69 | 19-Aug-05/9:41 AM | Reply
The poem sounds good and all but isn't the idea of a spirit that it doesn't die. That it just drifts off somewhere into eternity. Or did you mean spirit as in enthusiasm. Put Spirit in the place of all the little orange petal flower parts of the poem and you'll see the places where your spirit isn't like a little orange petal flower. Maintaining the metaphor is at the utmost importance in this poem for the point of the poem is the metaphor.

Love the concrete like structural design of the poem.
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