Replying to a comment on:

Little Orange Petal Flower (Free verse) by i_am_the_popsicle

My spirit is a little orange petal flower Orange petal flowers Bloom in Spring Thrive in Summer Fade in Autumn Die in Winter Little petal flowers in your hair are far more lovely than they are on the ground Little orange flowers in your room are far more romantic than they are on the ground Little orange petals Smell nice in Spring Look vibrant in Summer Ride the breeze in Autumn Shed tears in Winter And my spirit is a little orange petal flower

ALChemy 19-Aug-05/9:41 AM
The poem sounds good and all but isn't the idea of a spirit that it doesn't die. That it just drifts off somewhere into eternity. Or did you mean spirit as in enthusiasm. Put Spirit in the place of all the little orange petal flower parts of the poem and you'll see the places where your spirit isn't like a little orange petal flower. Maintaining the metaphor is at the utmost importance in this poem for the point of the poem is the metaphor.

Love the concrete like structural design of the poem.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001