zodiac
replying on Wrapping a Gift by Dovina
31 Aug 2005, 5:22 AM
Um, okay. But the song's originally by the Pixies on Surfer Rosa. It's a different song when you hear odd, fat Frank Black singing that line.
Why does the first line have a question mark after it?
Would you say you've learned all the things there are to learn in life now? The reason I'm asking is because fifteen minutes before you wrote this poem, you could have written a poem saying
Some things I've learned:
2 + 2 = 4,
Translation always works,
The sky's always blue
etc,
and been just as wrong.
In fact, I imagine you writing this exact same poem every fifteen minutes for the rest of your life and always being exactly the same amount wrong. Wouldn't that be something? What do you think about that?
I'd like to suggest that you prefer Summum creation theories because, one, the word Summum is kind of funny and fun to say, and, two, because when you say you prefer Summum creation theories people look at you and say 'wow, that's pretty out there, man,' and don't know enough about what your talking about to object. Summum creation is not substantively different from any other creation including the one where the world's on the back of a floating tortoise. And it's high time you admitted that Summum philosophy, both as you've quoted it and as it's actually said, has nothing to do with antimatter, and you just made that part up.
As far as nothingness goes (and, despite everything, apparently continues to go), it's silly to say that the potential of nothingness to create something comes from the nothingness itself and not from the something-created. Besides that, there's no reason to believe nothingness ever created anything. Again, that strikes me as something that you believe in so you can believe in God. Which is kind of a backwards way of going about things, if true.
Yeah that's right. All this time you've just been stringing poor -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. along. That must be why you went mental and started calling him a fag when the penny dropped. Nice one! -10-
Last year I was shortlisted for a special Poemeranker Maturity Award. Only those rankers who have demonstrated a sustained commitment to maturity in all aspects of their conduct are allowed to to have one. I hope now you'll realise it's quite within my powers to dismiss whomever I want from this site. I have been in touch with the FBI and they're monitoring the situation. Step out of line again and they'll come down on your ISP like a ton of bricks.
You need a more painful title. 9
I'll kis YOU with a powder burn! What a great line. You had me at "drinking song".
oops - i mispelled "apostrophe" - it still looks wrong?
A few suggestions: put the apostrohe before the s in "summers'"; say more about the girl - what does she look like?; use the word "linger" only once, twice makes me not listen. What I love: "All of the cars, black as they pass by your house"; "Satellites ride across the heavens like stars". 8.7
*Snarls* Killjoy!
Sarcasm: A cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound.
A form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule.
I used it in most of my comments to you.
Do you always resort to saying Ha Ha! I was just kidding when someone exposes what a true buffoon you are. I've seen you use this cop out before. I assumed you just wanted to try to argue for the sake of arguing and I figured why not considering it's a hell of a lot more creative than your poetry. The fact that your a pathological lier only shows us all how pathetic you truly are.
You act as if you convinced me about all your bullshit but any intelligent person who reads all the comments can see at some point I'm just getting bored and tired and just telling you what you want to hear. I will waste no more words on your pretentious diaper wearing "breeches". Later fag.
what?
I have admited on this very site that I am a pretentious fuck.
Pretty and a good translation but once again, I just don't think you should get votes for a translation. I stand by it and don't vote.
I agree that the nickel sounds a bit odd. Maybe you could say coin...or put your change in the machine...maybe that would work..otherwise pretty good overall...
There's a couple of places that are a little inconsistent and could be a problem if you put it to music...but maybe not...depending on what kind of a song you want it to be.
Your original work is usually pretty good, and this is no exception, but your stuff always seems so pretentious. I guess it's just the way you write...carry on.
made subtle changes
Is this about having a heart attack? Shorten it to about half the length and you might have something.
Not your best work, but I like it.
Hey, I'm back...isn't everyone glad!
Super. reminds me of early Beck