| Re: a comment on Bri's Room (not done) by Sunshine Conkey |
LilMsLadyPoet 64.12.116.138 |
12-Dec-05/8:59 PM |
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Notice he said MEN...*smirk
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| Re: Oh Merry Fay (part 1) by ALChemy |
LilMsLadyPoet 64.12.116.67 |
12-Dec-05/8:53 PM |
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First...disclaimer:I have an affinity for the Celtic, but that said...I love this piece! And since I am in rare form tonight, I am suprised I took the time to pick around on this one and to let you know what bugged me alittle. (Feeling cynical and snide tonight...sorry.)I did give you a 9 on it, perhaps just 'cause you gave me something Celtic, with an olde feel to it, that so applies right now. Perhaps because nothing else piqued my interest tonight. Perhaps because it speaks from a time....never mind. Yeah, fix it up just a tweak, and I might just throw my first 10 out there!
Filigree.(,)~
That, that will and that, that be.(,)
Are dressed both in a
fellow down.~
angry men.> I would change to better the rythm/flow right there.~
Plato(.)~
turned and runned> (an') would flow better and follow the language used. (runned? >and ran? to run?)
Galveron(.)
for we are so few (too few? we're?)
large. (,)
girthly span.(kinda awkward right there, interupted the flow. ?shorten it, change?)
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| Re: a comment on War (edit) by zodiac |
ALChemy 24.74.101.159 |
12-Dec-05/8:46 PM |
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Most of us didn't get it. Zodiac's southern born so his metaphors don't have to make sense. It's one of the perks of being southern, I guess.
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| Re: a comment on I saw Your Face Last Night by Dovina |
ALChemy 24.74.101.159 |
12-Dec-05/8:34 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Bri's Room (not done) by Sunshine Conkey |
ALChemy 24.74.101.159 |
12-Dec-05/8:31 PM |
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Then how do we explain our misfortunes?
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| Re: a comment on War (edit) by zodiac |
LilMsLadyPoet 64.12.116.138 |
12-Dec-05/8:29 PM |
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Well...call me dim as well! I didn't see it either...and now I've re-read and re-read, and am not sure how one would deduct that at all...still. Maybe it is a guy-thing?! (see my comment to poem)
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| Re: a comment on War (edit) by zodiac |
LilMsLadyPoet 64.12.116.138 |
12-Dec-05/8:25 PM |
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Zodiac...does that mean bigotry IS psychosis? Or only if it is 'extreme bigotry'?
Is 'non-extreme bigotry' not, then, considered psychotic? Could you please define 'normal bigotry' as opposed to 'extreme bigotry'? Or at least inform us to what extent of bigotry one would have to exibit to be considered considered 'extreme', and therefore warrant the use of said psychotic drugs? Is the implication that only inmates are capable if 'extreme' bigotry? Or only that they should be given anti-psychotic drugs for it? (AND, did they know they were being treated? And, if so, has the placebo affect been ruled out?)
Could you please define "relieved"?
Does this mean that we should put anti-psychotic drugs in the water supply in the South? I am sure it would be covered under the 'patriot act', and no one would ever have to know...and then we could all live much happier... and more relieved.
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| Re: War (edit) by zodiac |
LilMsLadyPoet 64.12.116.67 |
12-Dec-05/8:12 PM |
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? "as new graves, as a bombed field? I was loving this up to and after that...but I got lost there. What does that have to do with the rest? I could relate to this as one who keeps a 'food storage', well-stocked with provisions...and am driven to stock up on things I may need. This describes my large utility room full of such things, and the times when I had no bread, but I had plenty stored away, "in case". Winter rolls around and I am driven to start stock-piling. I related to the woman in this piece...but you refer to her as girlie (Girly), as if in put down. If one has ever truly gone hungry, then one probably can relate to such things and the need for self-sufficiency, and the little quirks one gains from that experience. Based on that long winded comment, think I'll give it a high score...I like the strange flow of it. For lack of better words, it just hits me good.(Except for the bit about graves and bombs, which I am still lost on...but I'm not breaking my own rule to see the comments before I vote and post!)
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| Re: a comment on The Legend of the Crow by TLRufener |
LilMsLadyPoet 64.12.116.138 |
12-Dec-05/8:01 PM |
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Well, now I look, after I post...someone was either more generous than I, or more lame than you...and gave you a 4. I don't mean to be rude, truly. I just get tired of wading through pieces like this one, by the dozens, before I find something that qualifies as substantial brain food. I am in a rare mood tonight...(disclaimer)
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| Re: The Legend of the Crow by TLRufener |
LilMsLadyPoet 64.12.116.67 |
12-Dec-05/7:58 PM |
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I never look at the votes or comments, but I would be suprised if anyone thought this mustered anything higher than my generous 3...sorry...it sucks in general, and really is lame, to be specific.
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| Re: Ionic Winter by david |
LilMsLadyPoet 64.12.116.67 |
12-Dec-05/7:55 PM |
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Lose the Macbeth reference, fill in the blank with something else;I don't see the relevance of it. I'd like to know what she said 'fine' to. Answer that, and replace Macbeth, and I might see my way to a higher score. I like the general flavour of it.
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| Re: I saw Your Face Last Night by Dovina |
zodiac 69.132.67.140 |
12-Dec-05/7:43 PM |
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"Mahommed professed to derive from Heaven, and he has inserted in the Koran, not only a body of religious doctrines, but political maxims, civil and criminal laws, and theories of science.
The gospel, on the contrary, only speaks of the general relations of men to God and to each other - beyond which it inculcates and imposes no point of faith. This alone, besides a thousand other reasons, would suffice to prove that the former of these religions will never long predominate in a cultivated and democratic age, whilst the latter is destined to retain its sway at these as at all other periods."
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| Re: a comment on Bri's Room (not done) by Sunshine Conkey |
zodiac 69.132.67.140 |
12-Dec-05/7:42 PM |
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"The principal cause of disparities in the fortunes of men is intelligence."
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| Re: Observer by Dovina |
zodiac 69.132.67.140 |
12-Dec-05/7:40 PM |
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"Americans are so enamoured of equality they would rather be equal in slavery than unequal in freedom."
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| Re: Bri's Room (not done) by Sunshine Conkey |
ALChemy 24.74.101.159 |
12-Dec-05/7:34 PM |
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Yep, Just like my niece.
Look at the first word of every line. Do you see anything monotonous?
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| Re: Towards the Sun or The keeper of the bay they call a pond by somemorepoetry |
ALChemy 24.74.101.159 |
12-Dec-05/7:25 PM |
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The "letters / Of geese" is a weird line.
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| Re: end of the engagement by Mona Lisa |
ALChemy 24.74.101.159 |
12-Dec-05/7:18 PM |
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Change "mortally" to "mortem".
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| Re: I saw Your Face Last Night by Dovina |
ALChemy 24.74.101.159 |
12-Dec-05/7:11 PM |
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This is OK but many of your comments contain a more impressive use of language than this poem does.
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| Re: Relics in Entropy by PsydewaysTears |
ALChemy 24.74.101.159 |
12-Dec-05/7:06 PM |
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So many good words given no use or meaning whatsoever.
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| Re: zimp by calliope |
ALChemy 24.74.101.159 |
12-Dec-05/7:00 PM |
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