Re: a comment on Incommunicado blues (fixed, except for Dovina) by zodiac	lmp 141.154.134.3	3-Jan-06/2:28 PM
hmmm. i feel the same way, but i cannot justify having more children than to replace my spouse and i. striking a balance between Dovina's Zero Population Growth, the primal reproductive urge, and making sure that the human race doesnt become overrun by those who "hain't able t' reed, no' rite, no' do rithmetick."
Re: a comment on Schoolyard Walls by Joe-joe	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	3-Jan-06/2:22 PM
I think she might be implying you're a Humbert Humbert.
Re: The Forgetting by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	3-Jan-06/2:12 PM
What is with you people just making up words whenever it suits you. At least put a footnote to tell us what the heck it means. Actually I think "Eternal paste-tounge now." would have been a lot cuter.
Re: a comment on This Is Me by PoeticXTC	lmp 141.154.134.3	3-Jan-06/2:09 PM
oops... the hands would be worn, cut, and scarred
Re: This Is Me by PoeticXTC	lmp 141.154.134.3	3-Jan-06/2:07 PM
there appear to be some conflicting descriptions here, about a tight compact frame and yet a soft cushy tushy. strong hands worked to the bone, yet they would undoubtedly be a bit work, cut, and scarred from hard work, and i don't get the idea that your vision of them is as such. the part about the orthodonture work is refreshing; a part of the "perfection" that was coerced into existence rather than happening "naturally". the hint that there may be something wrong (last verse) is also good; very little is ever perfect inside and out. and maybe the real substance of this work is in the last line. if i may offer: edit the desciption down a bit, but expand on the "view from the outside in" and the bit about sin.
Re: The Forgetting by Dovina	lmp 141.154.134.3	3-Jan-06/1:58 PM
i like the image, and the hint of living time in reverse (perhaps?). I am confounded however, by the last line; is "pasteless" a typo? or maybe this is a fanciful land where the collage of the child smelling a rose comes to life and "unpastes" himself... quaint and lovely nonetheless, it stimulates conjecture.
Re: a comment on Construction Lot (edit) by zodiac	Joe-joe 170.28.4.4	3-Jan-06/1:47 PM
...of course the first part of my comment only makes sense if one has not taken the time to read the title of the poem. I stand by the second point. By the way, it's clear to me that you were never a real "city dweller"....any kid from a big city will tell you that construction sites always make for the best playgrounds.
Re: This Is Me by PoeticXTC	Joe-joe 170.28.4.4	3-Jan-06/1:41 PM
A bit too much on your subject's physical features. I thought you were going to contrast the strong and self-assured outward appearance of your subject with an ego more fragile than most would think. Having said that I thought the last line was really good...although I would say that vanity is higher on the sin chain than envy.
Re: Construction Lot (edit) by zodiac	Joe-joe 170.28.4.4	3-Jan-06/1:32 PM
The city kids must have moved to the suburbs because a "fence" could never keep one of us out of our favorite play grounds. On one hand you suggest that something was built on the lot, on the other you paint a picture of an empty lot surrounded by a fence. Which one is it? The last paragraph is vague at very best. Are you attempting to highlight the common man's powerlessness in the face of “progress” or your own sense of indifference?
Re: a comment on Schoolyard Walls by Joe-joe	Joe-joe 170.28.4.4	3-Jan-06/1:13 PM
Before your time...I guess.
Re: Claim to Call by MacFrantic	Dovina 69.175.32.104	3-Jan-06/11:55 AM
I like the idea of this, "Shouting for a sight to see" when the realization stikes "a claim to call on the silence of our memories" as a better thing to do than looking for some sight to see. Maybe that's not what you meant, but I like it.
Re: Half Hearted by elderking	Dovina 69.175.32.104	3-Jan-06/11:48 AM
The rhymes seem mostly unforced, and the first verse is good. Verses 2 and 3 add little to the meaning, and they flow less well.
Re: you clinker by celticskatermatt1	Dovina 69.175.32.104	3-Jan-06/11:44 AM
forced rhymes.
Re: Schoolyard Walls by Joe-joe	PoeticXTC 152.163.100.135	3-Jan-06/11:44 AM
creative perspective
Re: This Is Me by PoeticXTC	Dovina 69.175.32.104	3-Jan-06/11:43 AM
Spelling, punctuation, grammar!!
Re: Schoolyard Walls by Joe-joe	Dovina 69.175.32.104	3-Jan-06/11:35 AM
"bobby sock pick tailed girls" I won't even ask.
Re: a comment on Romans 8:28 by amanda_dcosta	Dovina 69.175.32.104	3-Jan-06/11:31 AM
We seem to agree on the meaning of fuzzy logic, but that is, of course, an overwrought assumption, not to be agreed with.
Re: a comment on Romans 8:28 by amanda_dcosta	Dovina 69.175.32.104	3-Jan-06/11:12 AM
No answer, eh?
Re: a comment on Construction Lot (edit) by zodiac	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	3-Jan-06/10:10 AM
As you can see I like rhyme and pentameter. My favorite made-up compound word: Dreamescape.
Re: a comment on Construction Lot (edit) by zodiac	ALChemy 24.74.101.159	3-Jan-06/10:03 AM
You mean the irresponsibility that tends to come with faith? My favorite quote from some fat comedian who's name I can't remember: "I don't care if it rains or freezes as long as I got my plastic Jesus." And how like a child you wish you could fly but as an adult you know you can't. Rodin's thinker suffering with unlimited imagination but limited ability or Don Quixote dreaming the imposible dream only time and time again falling on his ass or me as a child, holding a mirror at my waist facing up, and staring down at the mirror at the sky and pretending I'm walking on clouds. If only we could live in our dreams. American Dream Oh show me the land of the free, Where one can roam endlessly, Where topless sky meets bottomless sea and dreams wash ashore on reality. Oh show me that promised land. Oh show me the land of the brave, where nobody fears the grave, where no one is anyone's slave and no soul needs to be saved. Just show me where to stand. One of my oldest poems. I choose to live back and forth between faith and logic. It's a cop out I know but it actually works quite well in giving me peace of mind. I just hope you're happier with life than you sound sometimes. I know nothing except the fact of my ignorance.-Socrates