Re: Rails to Trails by Dovina	Ranger 86.131.54.245	6-Oct-08/4:26 PM
I like the fourth stanza, altered a bit. Especially the "servants like me" bit (no comma needed after it), because unlike the rest, which is pretty generalised, it brings the focus down to one point, one place. I don't think it wants the repeated 'to'. You could get away with using 'where' once more there - "...where boys chase rabbits/where more people/clog the freeways". Or something like that.
Re: Rails to Trails by Dovina	darylchew 218.186.12.10	6-Oct-08/3:45 PM
lovely. anyway, do you remember me, dovina?
Re: Beauty? by Celticai	Celticai 123.211.253.133	6-Oct-08/1:10 PM
I never said that it was fake.. it was more of a comment on the excess and cost and for what end?
Re: Lover by Bethy	Dovina 208.127.228.23	5-Oct-08/2:03 PM
wow, what a dream! Tell me how to dream this way. Or am I wrong?
Re: a comment on Lover by Bethy	Dovina 208.127.228.23	5-Oct-08/2:01 PM
"Never believe a woman who tells you how old she is" Oscar Wilde
Re: Beauty? by Celticai	Dovina 208.127.228.23	5-Oct-08/1:59 PM
Why is primping fake. Too many women take this absurd approach; they go out looking like boys. My soul is not even approachable if my hair is a rat's nest and my lips look like Tom McCain's.
Re: a comment on Rails to Trails by Dovina	Dovina 208.127.228.23	5-Oct-08/1:48 PM
Senseless to let these perfectly fine linear parks go to parking lots and houses when, with a little bloodshed, we can put them into trails.
Re: a comment on Rails to Trails by Dovina	Dovina 208.127.228.23	5-Oct-08/1:46 PM
Train nuts are fading with the rails, rusting with flanged wheels. I wish him a train worth watching, but think he'd better get on the death car and help us look for good ways to bury them. Tell him to fight off the developers and support trails
Re: a comment on Beauty? by Celticai	Celticai 124.186.225.196	2-Oct-08/6:54 AM
Thank you Bethy! I appreciate the comments and the understanding. I have been inspired by your writing as well! We have a mutual admiration society.. lol
Re: unheeded by Skamper	Bethy 165.154.46.13	2-Oct-08/5:02 AM
My father threw a glass of water at me threw my bedroom window while I was enjoying a smoke with my dearest friend. He was a fireman at one time in his life. So, at the supper table that night, my mom got home from work, ask my father how his day was, and his reply is as follows, "I put a fire out in Bethy's bedroom today. I think she and Edna will be fine, I think they were scared though, thank god I was home at the time." lol
Re: Beauty? by Celticai	Bethy 165.154.46.13	2-Oct-08/4:44 AM
The truth about life in the (game)name of beauty. Beauty in is the garden surrounded by potatoes, string beans, corn and flowers. Beauty is deeper than the ground in earth on your skin when you grow things to feed your children. Beauty is inspiring, living in the moment, playing in the leaves, and having chicken nuggets and kraft dinner by candle light with your son and daughter. Beauty is when you read a poem and know that there is hope, happiness, sadness, reality and you feel what the author has written. So, you hold on to that and know there is beauty in their soul. You are an amazing writer. You inspire me. Bethy :)
Re: a comment on Lover by Bethy	Bethy 165.154.46.98	2-Oct-08/3:36 AM
"wisped" and past tense :) spelling error, eekkk I was hoping someone would see that this was a poem about puberty. I wrote this 29 yrs ago, at age 14...I had a lot of freaky dreams and this was one. Thought I'd submit it and see what would happen. After reading it, I now see that perhaps people would think it to be about a vampire :).Hmmm maybe it was a vampire, heheh. Innocently assuming, none the less...maybe a different title? more info? Of course that would be a lot of changes for an old poem. Thank you Drummah. Its nice to see new work here on poemranker. You truly have class and style. :) Bethy
Re: unheeded by Skamper	Celticai 124.186.170.98	1-Oct-08/3:44 PM
Made me think of my teenage years and smoking through the bathroom window!
Re: Can you beLIEve? by T. Jonathron Remp	Celticai 124.186.170.98	1-Oct-08/3:43 PM
A political politiked commentary on today and the presidential campaign... your word choices create an interesting fluidity to the reading.
Re: Lover by Bethy	Celticai 124.186.170.98	1-Oct-08/3:40 PM
An aching refrain.. Bethy did you mean to use wisp or whispered in the fifth line? Just wondered if the use of present tense was purposeful?
Re: Rails to Trails by Dovina	Celticai 124.186.170.98	1-Oct-08/3:38 PM
Dovina.. my hubby is a train nut.. I love this! Many of the heritage railways would love a copy of this. Congratulations.. it conveys the melancholy and the hope.
Re: a comment on My Dad's Armchair. by Bethy	Bethy 165.154.46.19	30-Sep-08/10:13 AM
Thank you hobojo. I now own my Dads chair and I am sitting in it now. It is my own personal way of staying close to him and all that he has done and given me in life. I have gotten hugs, scoldings,prayers and spankings all from that chair. It is a huge part of my history, and a bigger part of who I am today. Hugs :) Bethy
Re: Suicide Note [Disposal Instructions Included] by SupremeDreamer	some deleted user 68.120.225.169	29-Sep-08/6:27 PM
tht19832000@yahoo.com
Re: Suicide Note [Disposal Instructions Included] by SupremeDreamer	some deleted user 68.120.225.169	29-Sep-08/6:26 PM
I'd far sooner kill the likes of you all before I'd kill myself. I've read something that rings similiar to this; in Chuck Palahniuk's (sp?) novel 'Choke'. Apparently, they're making it into a full-length feature film. Dude, contact me...immediately.
Re: About Death & Hell? Hell can be a State of Living. by Don-Quixote	some deleted user 68.120.225.169	29-Sep-08/6:18 PM
Dear Supreme Dreamer (or whatever the fuck your name is), I've had immeasurable difficulty maintaining a 'positive attitude' in these dire times. If anyone's to help, it'd be you! email me. tht19832000@yahoo.com