Re: The Book of Images by Dovina	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	31-Jan-06/2:56 PM
I would rather you work these images into a story or into something about yourself than just list them. You could have shown how the images reflect off each other. Like Abraham seeing the ram with his head stuck in the thicket and Christ with his crown of thorns. It was still well worth the read though.
Re: a comment on The Book of Images by Dovina	ecargo 167.219.88.140	31-Jan-06/2:31 PM
"Weighed in the balance . . . " by the Book of Daniel, maybe. Modern scholarship, based on archeology, treats him with a great deal more reverence: a king among kings. So I see.
Re: a comment on Sky All Around Me (goddess edit) by ecargo	drnick 24.176.22.254	31-Jan-06/2:24 PM
Yes, you are correct, I forgot about grav. lensing...Einstein is rolling over in his grave.
Re: a comment on The Book of Images by Dovina	ecargo 167.219.88.140	31-Jan-06/1:59 PM
Just curious--what was your intent here? Putting a picture into a frame doesn't make you the creator of that picture--so what's the point of this? To signal appreciation? Something else? Ever read "On First Looking into Chapman's Homer" by Keats? A good example of being inspired by beauty to make something equally (or more) beautiful.
Re: a comment on The Book of Images by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	31-Jan-06/12:32 PM
Thanks, I intended to add nothing, but slipped in a few places.
Re: Giving in to a boring suggestion by Joe-joe	Dovina 69.175.32.104	31-Jan-06/12:03 PM
lol. It took me awhile to get the "awl" but it works. "a martyr" should be "martyrs."
Re: a comment on more of the same by calliope	Dovina 69.175.32.104	31-Jan-06/11:38 AM
Sorry, I mean, "I like this . . ."
Re: a comment on The Book of Images by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	31-Jan-06/11:34 AM
Thanks, Ranger. Funny how a verse repulses some and enthralls others. Just as many passages in the Bible do.
Re: a comment on The Book of Images by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	31-Jan-06/11:34 AM
But the last verse takes away the “wolf in sheep’s clothing” image that everyone has of me. (So many of our clichés come from the Bible.) The four uses of “hear” are redundant, yes, but the idea is so prevalent in the Bible that I wanted to emphasize it. Thanks, I appreciate your comments.
Re: a comment on The Book of Images by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	31-Jan-06/11:34 AM
“Weighed in the balance and found wanting,” like Nebuchadnezzar. I stripped away the preaching from the Bible, but not from my own work.
Re: The Book of Images by Dovina	zodiac 209.193.18.6	31-Jan-06/11:05 AM
Nice arrangement, but you've added very little.
Re: Generation Next, Fuck you(The Fake Out) by thepinkbunnyofdoom	LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.137.10	31-Jan-06/10:19 AM
Is this one of your sex poems, one of your war-commentary poems, or a drug poem? Or 'the ignorance and bliss of unknowing the young possess'? "And said it that was nice"> wanna fix that? (that it?)(said it was nice?)(And said,"That was nice.")?
Re: Time, Indeterminate by ecargo	LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.137.10	31-Jan-06/10:12 AM
has been stolen> correct would be:Have been; but then again, maybe leaving it in the language it is written in actually gives something to this poem. This is a long poem, but it is worth the time to read. Very nice, and real. What a melancholy piece. I thought it was about a soldier until I hit the word 'celly', and realizes it was about prison. It is unique in that it makes the reader see real faces behind those locked up; and beyond those faces to the families left behind. Excellent work!
Re: necrobos by baphomet	LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.137.10	31-Jan-06/10:02 AM
Huh? What a strangely fascinating bit-of-something, this is. The fact that I have worked with autistics makes me look into this and know that it is painting a picture...but, one too disconnected for me to fully 'get'. About the time I think I know what is going on here, I decide that can't be 'it'. I would be most interested in hearing what this is about.
Re: Frozen Branches by jmalone	LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.137.10	31-Jan-06/9:55 AM
I know this is following a format, but the rythm is awkward, to me...and rythm is all-important to me. It just does not flow well, IMO. notwithstanding> disregarding? in spite of? fighting against? If it is not withstanding change....I am not sure what that means right there, because you go on to say it is changed by winds of reason.
Re: Penny Loafer Blues by ALChemy	LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.137.10	31-Jan-06/9:40 AM
Naw...not a big fan of this one. I didn't really 'get it'. and all that stuff in the middle about running to your dream wife...language didn't fit the piece.
Re: a comment on Hailing Miriam by Ranger	Ranger 62.252.32.15	31-Jan-06/9:32 AM
Ah, no worries - it's good to get everyone's reaction individually, if you say what other people say then I'm going to have to think more about it! With regards to the rhythm, it's a very confused poem...I'm not sure what happened with it, it just wrote itself in a way. Again, Lorelei - I think the reason she came to mind was because she was something that neither Mary nor Miriam is...they both have a certain holiness about them and are the sweet sides of femininity, Lorelei is the antithesis. I think I will leave this one as it is for a time and return when I have cleared my mind...everything seems more crystal after a week or so. Thank you for your advice though - to everyone who's commented!
Re: midnight feast by pollywolly	LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.137.10	31-Jan-06/9:28 AM
old manse> man's ? What type of feasting? are you body snatchers, or young lover about to sexually feast? seems like a long road to go...no where. I am not even sure what scene I am looking at. It seems like the beginning to a story, rather than a poem.
Re: a comment on Hailing Miriam by Ranger	LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.137.10	31-Jan-06/9:22 AM
LOL...you can tell that I don't (and will never) read the scores or comments before I post my own! Sorry, I said alot of what was already posted.
Re: Hailing Miriam by Ranger	LilMsLadyPoet 207.69.137.10	31-Jan-06/9:19 AM
This is a long read...but was worth the effort. You have a strange sense of rhyme and in rythm in this piece; it took a reread, to find a comfortable rythm to read it by. "Lorelei no longer"...? where did that come from? and it seems the passionate Miriam is reborn, in the end, hailing Mary....but I liked her as she was! I liked the contrast of the two: Mary and Miriam...one the Madonna the other the whore...both a part of who we are, as women. Miriam stands brilliantly as she is! Would you have had Miriam save Mary from her chastity, by saving her from it...and thus freeing her to her passionate self? No? Then I wouldn't have had Mary saving Miriam. And leave Lorelei out of it.LOL...change that and I'll change my score to a 10...(whch I never give!)