Re: a comment on run'em'hard by grendal	grendal 204.126.64.254	16-Feb-06/3:31 PM
your like Dr.Seuss himself . . . so you should be dead
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	Dovina 69.175.32.104	16-Feb-06/3:10 PM
When you say "they" I suppose you mean Frasier Allonby's creations. No, I was not referring to "them," but to someone worth the effort.
Re: The Gold and silver dress by Caducus	drnick 24.176.22.254	16-Feb-06/2:09 PM
This is really good, but I'm only giving you and 8 because people on here are writing too good lately. WE NEED TO RAISE THE EXPECTATIONS HERE, PEOPLE. WE CAN'T GIVE NINES AND TENS TO EVERYBODY, THIBK OF THE INTEGRITY. THE GOD DAMN INTEGRITY.
Re: Historical Epic by Bobjim	drnick 24.176.22.254	16-Feb-06/2:05 PM
This is awesome, is the person narrating Les Claypool or David Koechner?
Re: a comment on Mentally Disabled by drnick	drnick 24.176.22.254	16-Feb-06/1:57 PM
That may be true, but the real question is could she without using a three letter word with misplaced capitolization? I hope you don't think that this is my poem back to her...althought if you did, it would be hilarious that you rated it a ten just for the title.
Re: a comment on Historical Epic by Bobjim	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Feb-06/12:41 PM
Anyway, you've succeeded with your 'worst' mission, what's next on the agenda?
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Feb-06/12:35 PM
Seems they've all been wankered. It's like being tangoed, but even more orange.
Re: a comment on Ode to necrophilia by Bobjim	Bobjim 84.9.177.58	16-Feb-06/12:34 PM
How dare you!
Re: Historical Epic by Bobjim	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Feb-06/12:32 PM
Somehow made me laugh; in my simple way. I think it's picturing as a kangaroo. Kangaroos bloody always cheat. Except for when they're playing chicken with cars. They tend not to then, for some reason...
Re: a comment on Strings by Fayt	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Feb-06/11:48 AM
I'd suggest 'String Theory' as an alternative title for this piece, although I'd also recommend finding out about string theory (so you can explain it to me...) It'd be nice to see some thought given to the strings of more pleasant names, Charity for example. Also, line 7 '...such trivial things', tell us what those trivial things are (the key is not in simply listing them, but giving a new and interesting way of describing them).
Re: a comment on Together they Fell by Fayt	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Feb-06/11:42 AM
No worries, that's what this place is for! I was just reading through it again and I'd be interested to see if this works better as a prose poem; it is essentially a story in style, but not format. Maybe you'd consider writing it out in story form and then adding the adjectives etc. I remember seeing someone on here saying that's what they do, it might have been ALChemy, or perhaps zodiac (or maybe my memory has gone altogether...). In any case, if you have the time then give it a go - see what you come up with.
Re: The Gold and silver dress by Caducus	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	16-Feb-06/11:24 AM
I had to look this up so don't feel bad but she didn't rise from the entrails of Poseidon but from Uranus' severed penis. I can certainly see why you wouldn't want to say that though. I only looked it up because I thought she came out of a clam shell. Everything else in the poem is great.
Re: a comment on Together they Fell by Fayt	Fayt 141.157.35.222	16-Feb-06/11:08 AM
Thank you very much for the tip. You are completely right about the imagery used, rereading it I actually find it hard to believe i used "huge pole". I will change it for any future uses. Much Thanks.
Re: a comment on Recognition by nentwined	nentwined 68.232.253.122	16-Feb-06/10:49 AM
Done, though I think chances of anyone actually following the difference here are slim to none. :) Maybe I will try, though. It's been a long time since I wrote.
Re: Mentally Disabled by drnick	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	16-Feb-06/10:20 AM
I'm sure amanda_dcosta can tell you tons of stuff about the mentally disabled. I like this poem, I haven't read it but I like it.
Re: a comment on Recognition by nentwined	ALChemy 24.74.100.11	16-Feb-06/9:33 AM
Yes, I did some more research and that's why I put the second comment in. It's the gay poem that threw me off at first. Why post it? Why not a Fraser Allonby is a pederast poem? That would have been ten times better. I didn't mean you're a fan of zodiac I meant zodlac one of Frasers stupid alter egos. Obviously you're not a fan of Fraser either. Sorry for jumping to conclusions but this whole gay poem trend is getting old as hell and I was getting a little sick of it.
Re: Together they Fell by Fayt	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Feb-06/9:26 AM
I like the story in this, although I feel it would benefit from more descriptive language. 'Huge pole' is very simplistic and doesn't feel right in this; even just saying 'concrete pole' puts a little more imagery into this. See what you think.
Re: The Gold and silver dress by Caducus	Ranger 62.252.32.15	16-Feb-06/9:22 AM
Beautiful, stanza 3 in particular. Change 'dawn's knives' to something softer.
Re: a comment on A young Man’s Demise by Dovina	Dovina 67.72.98.83	16-Feb-06/7:53 AM
Careful, or some fiction like "Dovlna" will post some appalingly unclever rant about gay alchemists. Actually, my character exists.
Re: a comment on Recognition by nentwined	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	16-Feb-06/7:16 AM
Your powers of deduction are astoundingly inaccurate. I am clearly not the "guy" who has been logging in with fake usernames. Check user by IPS for confirmation; you will find I have two Stephen Robins and fuzzylogicisatwat. I am in no way a fan of Zodiac or any of his aliases. He writes appallingly damp poemes about tender issues which have no place being thought about by a man. Fraser Allonby, the real culprit, is a massive fat man who blunders around like somekind of pederast's stiffy at morning break, leaving colossal signs of his bad breeding and horrendous usage of the nomanitive accusative to impart his appalling ill-thought out verse. Read "Junior Trees" if you would like confirmation.