Re: a comment on Valentine by zodiac	Dovina 12.72.43.249	2-Sep-06/9:24 AM
After a hiatus, new beginnings are possible. If not because actual heart-rending changes have rooted, then just because a sense of having forgotten can be forged. Combatants can pound their swords into plowshares. Bitter disputes can be archived, and constructive exchange can begin. Or not.
Re: The darkest woods ever by Shardik	aamir_trichy 203.200.35.8	2-Sep-06/8:17 AM
good!!
Re: Covet by creepshow	Dovina 17.255.240.138	1-Sep-06/12:15 PM
Creepy. The title is bland.
Re: Deliberate Exclusion by MacFrantic	Dovina 17.255.240.138	1-Sep-06/12:13 PM
This "Prose Poem" is too vague and lacks punch. Apparently her shameful obsequiousness is the narrator's objection. Why not make that clearly poignant?
Re: Water by Caducus	Dovina 17.255.240.138	1-Sep-06/12:06 PM
Verse 2 is great. Verse 1 needs a period after line 3. Verse 3 could lose the quotes around his name, I think. Verse 4 needs the space removed before "s" and a comma after "sick" and a period after line 2 and a period after Line 4. Verse 5 needs an apostrophe in "mothers" and "Grandmothers" and a comma after Line 3 and a period after Line 4.
Re: a comment on Valentine by zodiac	zodiac 152.18.33.186	1-Sep-06/8:04 AM
Do you suffer short-term memory loss? You've already trashed this poem, owing to the fact that I trashed 'Navy Pier', owing to the fact that you'd already posted it under another name.
Re: a comment on An Ode To My Dead Husband Bert by Edna Sweetlove	Caducus 86.137.20.84	1-Sep-06/7:24 AM
i am a cunt
Re: An Ode To My Dead Husband Bert by Edna Sweetlove	Caducus 86.137.20.84	1-Sep-06/7:23 AM
Bert sounds like a man my Aunt married. Gratuitously gross well done
Re: a comment on Coyote Sunsets by DamienDen	DamienDen 168.103.213.204	31-Aug-06/10:37 PM
Cool! Thanks for the input! :)
Re: a comment on With Old Light by Ranger	Ranger 86.131.57.222	31-Aug-06/10:18 PM
*sigh* so much for trying to write something happy. This is very much an 'English countryside' poem - there aren't that many metaphors in here (I don't think) and those that are, are supposed to all be typical country scenes. Maybe I didn't bring that across enough, and focused too much on the images. Would I get away with making this longer, if it provided some sort of linking feature? I really don't want to remove too much of what's already there, to be honest - adding extra might be the only way forward. Maybe I'll just go back to writing miserable verse ;-)
Re: Pleasure. (Leisure Spoof) by Ulterius	Ranger 86.131.57.222	31-Aug-06/10:09 PM
What is this life, if led astray We haven't time for banter gay? I look forward to reading more of yours :-)
Re: Buttocks. by Ulterius	Ranger 86.131.57.222	31-Aug-06/10:06 PM
Hahaha, you've somehow managed to take a subject which I didn't think was amusing any more, plus a form which I didn't think could be effective any more and give me a hearty 6am chuckle ;-) I stumbled slightly with 'Pimply', it seemed slightly disruptive to the flow (no pun intended) but that could just have been my inexpert reading of it. Next poem of this type to be entitled '-bow'ls-'.
Re: Coyote Sunsets by DamienDen	Ranger 86.131.57.222	31-Aug-06/10:00 PM
Couple of minor points - there are a few too many articles in here for me, if you can get rid of 'the' in a couple of places it would work better (I think). Also needs a little more punctuation in places ('The tumble weeds the Buddhas complete in their wandering'). Nitpicking aside, super description here and some nicely fresh phrases ('broken backbones', 'spilling its sack of pearls'). Mightily enjoyable :-)
Re: fuck you by gsosville	DamienDen 168.103.213.204	31-Aug-06/9:14 PM
LOL oh this made my day, mean maybe, but take with it a grain a salt and its one can't help but laugh. Masterpiece lol. Oh god whew
Re: a comment on Buttocks. by Ulterius	DamienDen 168.103.213.204	31-Aug-06/9:09 PM
Lol, one man's/woman's trash is another man's treasure. Simply just opinion Ulterius, I respect yours, to me the poem was crude, and I usually think of a buttocks as crude. Nothing wrong with it just the way I see it, everyone has a different view on life in general. It's a long road if a simple stone can throw you off. Keep writing.;)
Re: Brethren, oblivion is not the road to the city Ataraxis II by SupremeDreamer	matt door 65.34.76.56	31-Aug-06/7:42 PM
Did u mean plains or planes, or did you just not care - 'cause this was quite long and stale. Elementary son - sorry.Simple and "plain".
Re: Valentine by zodiac	matt door 65.34.76.56	31-Aug-06/7:33 PM
Read like a fucking obituary - long and painful. Your ego harms your poetry - sorry.
Re: Nude Falling Down Staircase by zodiac	matt door 65.34.76.56	31-Aug-06/7:30 PM
so very tired - so lame - no sheets? try something more personable - a tad more broad - you're too selfish.
Re: a comment on Buttocks. by Ulterius	Ulterius 82.46.97.41	31-Aug-06/2:51 PM
What on earth makes you think of buttocks as crude? I've never been so insulted.
Re: a comment on Message sent by A_Dark_Calm	A_Dark_Calm 71.75.188.163	31-Aug-06/2:18 PM
Good eye me lady! I must have been sleepless the day I posted this. The worst part is I wrote "seem" correctly the very next line up. Thank you for the welcoming. Well I must get some sleep then, Tata. -always- A_Dark_Calm