| Re: Prologue by Dovina |
howl 81.178.72.28 |
24-Oct-06/8:30 AM |
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Cool. Put in on your gravestone.
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| Re: The Little Mouse That Roared by Wakeboarder20 |
howl 81.178.72.28 |
24-Oct-06/8:28 AM |
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and not afraid to force the issue is so ridiculous it made me Lol.
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| Re: Danger Zone by Miggy |
howl 81.178.72.28 |
24-Oct-06/8:25 AM |
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Mature version of truth or dare sounds terrible. I much prefer it with a young filly.:(
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| Re: The Day Habeas Corpus Died by Wakeboarder20 |
howl 81.178.72.28 |
24-Oct-06/8:23 AM |
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I don't know why you argue that this poem has any subtlety. It doesn't. On the plus side it isn't too shoddy. I dont like the 'not as good as tv reality' line. I think it would work better if the narrator were watching something specific.
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| Re: Kill Criminals In The Name Of JESUS! by Sing4Jesus! |
howl 81.178.72.28 |
24-Oct-06/8:16 AM |
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This is good. Apart from the last verse. The last verse is bollocks.
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| Re: Kill Criminals In The Name Of JESUS! by Sing4Jesus! |
Dan garcia-Black 67.72.98.45 |
24-Oct-06/6:30 AM |
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This is a suicide note, right?
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| Re: a comment on The parameters of speech. by leon lyman |
leon lyman 210.84.45.132 |
24-Oct-06/4:35 AM |
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| Re: a comment on The parameters of speech. by leon lyman |
leon lyman 210.84.45.132 |
24-Oct-06/4:33 AM |
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Cheers. I was trying to figure out how to make the first stanza work.
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| Re: a comment on weather poem part 3: the hurricane (renga) by nypoet22 |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
24-Oct-06/3:53 AM |
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Green eyes wait to open in
cherry blossom's pale splendour
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| Re: The parameters of speech. by leon lyman |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
24-Oct-06/3:44 AM |
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Excellent. Might want a comma between letter and fencing in line 2.
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| Re: Golden Times by cpill |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
24-Oct-06/3:43 AM |
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It is an unbreakable and universal law of poetry that you must always rhyme 'pie-man' with 'Simon', if you are to rhyme 'pie-man' at all.
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| Re: Slur by MacFrantic |
half.italian 70.36.242.152 |
24-Oct-06/12:41 AM |
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I like it. It reads well. The one thing I would do: change 'devastation' to 'devastated' or something else entirely.
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| Re: Epilogue by MacFrantic |
Dovina 70.38.78.229 |
23-Oct-06/5:38 PM |
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It could be the end of a great collective work, of which mine is the Prologue, and the middle is all of Poemranker.
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| Re: Canada by PodPoet |
Dovina 70.38.78.229 |
23-Oct-06/5:35 PM |
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You may not be from Canada, but I've been to most of these places, and it sounds like you have too. What I miss is some application, something beyond rhyme and reninisce. The last line especially needs something more specific than "all" and "awe."
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| Re: Kill Criminals In The Name Of JESUS! by Sing4Jesus! |
Dovina 70.38.78.229 |
23-Oct-06/4:17 PM |
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I wish you would enter discussion on whether these Jesus poems are satire or if you really like this stuff. If you mean it, then you've progressed about an inch backward from the Crusades.
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| Re: Take that thing off your head by lukehanney |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
23-Oct-06/4:13 PM |
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I do believe that this is about Jade Goody's wedding day...
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| Re: a comment on Prologue by Dovina |
Dovina 70.38.78.229 |
23-Oct-06/4:13 PM |
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And there I have another reason for saying you are more fun to argue with than zodiac.
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| Re: a comment on Prologue by Dovina |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
23-Oct-06/4:11 PM |
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Ah, but the general public is mostly stupid. Then again, if the internet's anything to go by, so are most poets. You, fortunately, are not.
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| Re: a comment on MRS Degree by Miggy |
Ranger 62.252.32.15 |
23-Oct-06/4:08 PM |
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It's not the question you should be asking when writing; you should ask 'can I make people care?' I believe you have the ability. Unfortunately the above lyric fails.
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| Re: Prologue by Dovina |
drnick 24.176.22.254 |
23-Oct-06/2:58 PM |
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