| Re: Pink BAlls by EAger to Offend |
Sasha 128.135.197.101 |
20-Apr-07/9:56 PM |
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| Re: Makin' Bacon by NICKDRP |
half.italian 76.172.249.205 |
19-Apr-07/7:16 PM |
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Kinda reminds me of a Dr. Suess.
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| Re: Always there by holliebollie_19 |
half.italian 76.172.249.205 |
19-Apr-07/7:11 PM |
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| Re: Pink BAlls by EAger to Offend |
half.italian 76.172.249.205 |
19-Apr-07/7:08 PM |
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| Re: a comment on Makin' Bacon by NICKDRP |
NICKDRP 65.93.201.89 |
19-Apr-07/3:36 PM |
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| Re: What it Feels Like by laurahenn2010 |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
19-Apr-07/9:02 AM |
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May I try the next verse for you:
An awkward fumbling at my bra,
A great bulging stiffy in your jeans,
Subsides in a damp, cloying puddle,
I must attend myself, by artificial means.
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| Re: The Corner Tavern by jessicazee |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
19-Apr-07/8:57 AM |
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Dogs who drink beer? Where did you think up this line? for dogs drink water not beer.
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| Re: Always there by holliebollie_19 |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
19-Apr-07/8:55 AM |
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Hollie Bollie, this is indeed sort of like a song. It is sort of like a song before it is sung.
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| Re: Pink BAlls by EAger to Offend |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
19-Apr-07/8:52 AM |
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Verily the most enjoyable romp around the foyer of hotel failure for three long years!
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| Re: Sensually Literary Villanelle by bwaha |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
19-Apr-07/8:51 AM |
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| Re: The Corner Tavern by jessicazee |
INTRANSIT 65.29.60.146 |
19-Apr-07/8:26 AM |
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Suggestions:
Line 2 I'm in a raffle kind of mood
Line 5 lose -stools go with vinyl perches
6/7 lose for.
Will it go 'round in circles?
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| Re: Subway moments by azntsarina |
EAger to Offend 74.12.105.91 |
18-Apr-07/10:09 PM |
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Ditto richa's comment on the Unions Station piece.
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| Re: Makin' Bacon by NICKDRP |
EAger to Offend 74.12.105.91 |
18-Apr-07/9:58 PM |
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I think that "neat" is the perfect word to end this on. Not only is it a juvenile complement to the whimsy of this piece, the conotation is just as Leave-it-to-Beaver, 50's-ish as a the very bacon breakfast of which you speak.
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| Re: I want to press my fingertips by bwaha |
EAger to Offend 74.12.105.91 |
18-Apr-07/9:48 PM |
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I dig it. Perhaps some other word(s) can maintain the sensitivity of this piece better than "human life". Sorry I don't have a suitable substitute at the ready.
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| Re: a comment on Prince of Void by Dovina |
EAger to Offend 74.12.105.91 |
18-Apr-07/9:31 PM |
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Oh, pot. At least you have an excuse.
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| Re: The Corner Tavern by jessicazee |
half.italian 76.172.249.205 |
18-Apr-07/1:18 PM |
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| Re: Prince of Void by Dovina |
jessicazee 65.30.186.80 |
18-Apr-07/12:01 AM |
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I love the second line. I keep reading it. The word "bleak" is, uh, onomonapeida (sp?), yeah. Duh, you know what I mean and I won a trophy for spelling in 7th grade, but it phonetically intersects with its meaning? Is that the word? Or does that mean the word is the actual sound, like "beep"? God I love pot.
Also,I kind of see a empty space between the last two lines?
P.S. Funny aside: the first time I read this I thought 5th line read: "uncoupled from his sNoring"; hee.
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| Re: Always there by holliebollie_19 |
holliebollie_19 76.181.20.240 |
17-Apr-07/3:57 PM |
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It is sort of like a song.
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| Re: Always there by holliebollie_19 |
holliebollie_19 76.181.20.240 |
17-Apr-07/3:57 PM |
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It is sort of like a song.
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| Re: Always there by holliebollie_19 |
holliebollie_19 76.181.20.240 |
17-Apr-07/3:57 PM |
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It is sort of like a song.
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