darylchew
on Respect on a Quiet Hillside by Dovina
30 Aug 2004, 10:13 AM
...what is 'they did it' supposed to mean. vague.
The only thing I'd change is punctuation in the first verse to match the others.
What a shock that must have been! No wonder I don't remember it. What an unruly eviction!
really good.
haha my first poem only! gonna be as good as you soon!
nice. about how one almost falls down to the depths of no return, but turning back just in time. inspirational. good use of light-imagery.
utopia! i feel the euphoria!
I love it, but I think you could punctuate here:
"no arm's/no arms' way out"
somewhere after "is Art a way" and "root on the spot".
fevriere
replying on It's really hard to know what to speak to him. by fevriere
30 Aug 2004, 2:43 AM
You know, I wasn't so sure about it myself. It's traditional cheese.
When can we leave? I'm packing a bag-
I'm all for women's lib. If they can do for themselves, that's less I gotta do. I'm mildly chauvy today. Chauvy chase?
Although my thinking seems excellent sometimes, it will likely change, possibly turning todayâs excellence into tomorrowâs foolishness.
Ok, let me be frank, and brutally honest:
The above enjambment of badly-stringed catch phrases is such a crock of discombobulated bullshit.
Hopefully time will be forgiving, or there's no hope for you, whatever spouse you've become attached to, and your bastard children.
You pray, I growl.
Blessed with two.. go in peace.