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Respect on a Quiet Hillside (Free verse) by Dovina Under stars
Blanket spread
At midnight
On her grandparentsâ grave
They did it
Quietly
In remembrance
Up the ladder:
Root Shallow
Down the ladder:
Those Crazy's people in my brainsky
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.923077
Posted: July 24, 2004 2:23 PM PDT; Last modified: July 24, 2004 2:23 PM PDTWeighted score: 6.405882 Overall Rank: 769 Comments:
I would have preferred it if the girl's grandfather rose up out of the grave and raped her, filling her with his zombied seed. That would also leave room for a sequel. Quite good anyway.
Love it. How does "They paid their respects" instead of "did it" sound to you? Grandpaw was such a 'perv' (in a good way).
Might be more true to the title and the intent I want to show, maybe less provocative. dunno. I'll think about it.
interesting location and motivation - no judgement implied; the poem stands out because of it.
Respect paid to the good life they lived - get it.
And a repecctful kinda fun that some might call wierd, which made it all the more fun. Thanks.
...what is 'they did it' supposed to mean. vague.
I think the suggestion of Dan garcia Black, "They paid their respects," is a better way of saying they had sex.
may i ask, in what way is having sex connected to paying respects?
When she thought of leaving flowers or saying a prayer at those tombstones, the idea fell cold compared to her memory of an old couple who loved and taught her to love and who might appreciate the risqué act at midnight as the perfect projection of their lives into the present.
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Respect for the ones who made doing this possible and who might rather chuckle at the act than to look at the bottom side of flowers.