poemranker ::Respect on a Quiet Hillside by Dovina

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 109011

Respect on a Quiet Hillside

by Dovina

Member since 2004 · Posted 24 Jul 2004 · 12 comments

Under stars Blanket spread At midnight On her grandparents’ grave They did it Quietly In remembrance

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 6.92 weighted 6.41 rank 769 views 413 View voting details →

13 votes so far. Yours would make 14.13 votes so far

12 comments

[8] INTRANSIT 24-Jul-04/3:05 PM Reply
They did "it"? I think I get this but, I think it can be done better. Lines one and two are kind of telling, and for my own edification, why grandmums?
[n/a] Dovina › INTRANSIT 24-Jul-04/4:10 PM Reply

Respect for the ones who made doing this possible and who might rather chuckle at the act than to look at the bottom side of flowers.
[8] ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 24-Jul-04/5:13 PM Reply
I would have preferred it if the girl's grandfather rose up out of the grave and raped her, filling her with his zombied seed. That would also leave room for a sequel. Quite good anyway.
[10] Dan garcia-Black 24-Jul-04/7:22 PM Reply
Love it. How does "They paid their respects" instead of "did it" sound to you? Grandpaw was such a 'perv' (in a good way).
[n/a] Dovina › Dan garcia-Black 25-Jul-04/7:51 AM Reply
Might be more true to the title and the intent I want to show, maybe less provocative. dunno. I'll think about it.
[8] Shuushin 26-Jul-04/6:10 AM Reply
interesting location and motivation - no judgement implied; the poem stands out because of it.
[8] Venus 29-Jul-04/1:10 AM Reply
Respect paid to the good life they lived - get it.
[n/a] Dovina › Venus 30-Jul-04/6:43 PM Reply
And a repecctful kinda fun that some might call wierd, which made it all the more fun. Thanks.
[n/a] darylchew 30-Aug-04/10:13 AM Reply
...what is 'they did it' supposed to mean. vague.
[n/a] Dovina › darylchew 30-Aug-04/11:00 AM Reply
I think the suggestion of Dan garcia Black, "They paid their respects," is a better way of saying they had sex.
[n/a] darylchew › Dovina 30-Aug-04/11:05 AM Reply
may i ask, in what way is having sex connected to paying respects?
[n/a] Dovina › darylchew 30-Aug-04/11:20 AM Reply
When she thought of leaving flowers or saying a prayer at those tombstones, the idea fell cold compared to her memory of an old couple who loved and taught her to love and who might appreciate the risqué act at midnight as the perfect projection of their lives into the present.