Unfitting a "man" of his stature.

heheh - not bad. Dual question marks are good there.

The repetition helps this, I think - but the theme is so often done that reader sympathy is difficult.

With the vocabulary and the big telling that comes from the big words this quickly becomes a tough sell.

Dovina - this is somewhat strange. it really is.

Wise advice from her mother. Easier said, setting her free.

Cute. You could have expressed the same idea with less, and the reader would thank you for it.

This reminds me more of an outline or some notes for a poem. Should be distilled quite a bit.

From a scientific point-of-view, every sentence in this poem is wrong. That's not the point, you say, I'm being metaphorickal, the science doesn't matter. If that is the case, your face is beautiful as a bum.

I'm lucky. With my ruffles over my head, I stand to tinkle and make the wood donut even more dreadful on future other's hindquarters.

It's hard to comment on something so vague, but: Shadows can be anything I want Flames a hot breath Fragments of bliss Memories remain though Evidence fade The undone haunts again Opportunity lost I carry the heavy urn Spread ashes among the young, Growing trees

Absolutely splendid.

There's some good language in here though it comes off a little choppy'list-like. How is that fixed? Try, if you want, playing with where the lines end and your preposition use (there are lots of them in here). Flow and show?

you could almost remove the first word of every line and the thing would be better for it. I like this one.

ditto

here.

less ars, and more poetica, please.

Nice. Original angle on a near cliche. I had a small amount of trouble picturing a key chain in a wallet (rather than an individual key). Maybe consider doing thing from a purse-wielding perspective?

You are a prize clot.

Evacuation harness blues.